Road House (2024) - a shallow as fuck film review

Do film reviews seem too intellectual and "deep" for you? Do you not understand a review that criticises the "lack of character development and poor choice of colour palate" for a film you loved cos The Kurgan got his arse kicked? Then you need "The Shallow As Fuck Film Review".

Straight out of the box... Road House (2024) isn't Road House (1989). If you're watching it hoping to revisit the Patrick Swayze original, you'll be disappointed. It mirrors the plot lines only in the most basic elements; everything from the characters to the background changes. But as a stand-alone 2020's style all-out action movie, it's entertaining enough.

Think Road House (1989) in the style of Jungle Cruise (2021).

Jake Gyllenhaal puts the hours and the effort into the film, as he always does. Just looking at the physique he brings makes me exhausted from the training he must have done; he looks more the part than the former pro fighters.

Even Conor McGregor's inability to be anything but 'Conor McGregor mugging it up for the camera' fails to ruin the moment. Forget the intense action FX; perhaps the most fantastical film magic we see here is how they manage to take his amateur hamming it up and smush it into actual professional production in a way that works. (If you want a more authentic McGregor performance, watch the video where he assaults an old man in the pub he owns.)

In 2020's Hollywood style, the camera/FX work on the action sequences takes you right to the heart of the action. It makes you feel the impacts and confusion of the fight in a way I've not experienced before, but it also takes that one step too far into Bollywood-style excess. It would have been laughable if it hadn't immediately moved on to another intense moment.

Ultimately, though... It had me hooked right up to the end, even if it felt a bit like those Disney movie attempts to recreate their theme park rides.