<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?>
<?xml-stylesheet type="text/xsl" href="https://theaardvark.co.uk/sitemap.xsl"?>
<urlset xmlns="http://www.sitemaps.org/schemas/sitemap/0.9" xmlns:xsi="http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema-instance" xsi:schemaLocation="http://www.sitemaps.org/schemas/sitemap/0.9 http://www.sitemaps.org/schemas/sitemap/0.9/sitemap.xsd" xmlns:image="http://www.google.com/schemas/sitemap-image/1.1">
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/</loc>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/20260216-monday-.html</loc>
<lastmod>2026-02-16T23:32:28+00:00</lastmod>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/a-new-home-for-my-videos-videosaardat.html</loc>
<lastmod>2026-01-28T21:51:00+00:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/79/Screenshot-2026-01-28-214948.png</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Screenshot of the AarDHD Flow State video on the AardVids PeerTube instance at videos.aard.at, showing the video thumbnail with the flowing symbol logo and line-drawn aardvark on a textured beige background, along with the video title and playback interface.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/aardhd-flow-state-now-available.html</loc>
<lastmod>2026-01-21T16:25:06+00:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/76/AarDHD-Flow-State-1280-x-720-px.png</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[A simple line drawing on a textured beige stone background. At the top is an abstract flowing symbol made of continuous looping black lines that cross and weave through each other. Below it is a minimalist illustration of an aardvark drawn in a single continuous black line, shown in profile facing right with its distinctive long snout, upright ears, and visible claws. At the bottom in black text: "AarDHD - Flow State" with the 'A' being a smaller version of the flowing symbol above.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/aardhd.html</loc>
<lastmod>2026-03-05T22:31:42+00:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/81/AarDHD-Logo-Wide.png</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[An abstract flowing symbol made of continuous looping black lines that cross and weave through each other, centred on a textured beige stone background. Below it is the text "AarDHD" in bold black letters, with the 'A' replaced by a smaller version of the flowing symbol above.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/aardvarkweb.html</loc>
<lastmod>2026-03-23T01:15:45+00:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/93/aardvark-web-header.svg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[An aardvark in a bowler hat hunches over a pink and purple mechanical keyboard with 'Aardvark Web' printed on the front. He looks like he means business, or possibly like he's about to play a very fast-paced video game. Either way, you wouldn't ask him to stop.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/about-me.html</loc>
<lastmod>2026-03-06T10:31:24+00:00</lastmod>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/anas-ng.html</loc>
<lastmod>2024-12-08T21:57:53+00:00</lastmod>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/baker-streets.html</loc>
<lastmod>2025-01-07T13:21:54+00:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/13/dsoXdV95bdoB90EEqmlr-7-fk9h8.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[An AI generated image showing stacks of vinyl records with a saxophone lying on top. ]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/creating-a-links-page-with-linkstack.html</loc>
<lastmod>2025-03-30T00:42:14+00:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/12/paultaylor-online-2024-12-28-234219.png</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[A screen grab of the top of my links page.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/12/IMG_20241228_235455.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[My Fitbit watch on my wrist showing a QR code]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/current-colour-palette.html</loc>
<lastmod>2024-12-20T22:10:18+00:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/8/random-color-contrasts-post.png</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[A mastodon post by &quot;random color contrasts&quot; dated 29 Apr 2024. The text reads &quot;Pacific Blue #3FA8C4 English Walnut #412922  (Contrast ratio: 4.9:1 | AA)&quot;. Below the text are 2 blocks of colour; one blue with brown writing on it saying &quot;Pacific Blue #3FA8C4&quot; the other brown with blue writing on it saying &quot;English Walnut #412922&quot;.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/8/colorkit.png</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[A block of 5 colours showing blue/taupe, dark brown, violet-ish, &quot;Bohemian Jazz&quot; and &quot;Pine Leaves&quot;.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/death-of-a-unicorn-a-shallow-af-review.html</loc>
<lastmod>2025-09-24T13:27:17+01:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/40/Death-of-a-Unicorn-movie-review.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Film poster showing a Jenny Ortega on the right looking up in apparent terror at a massive scary animal muzzle looming from the left, complete with yellowed fangs and dark lips and hair. The purple text "DEATH OF A UNICORN" dominates the centre against a backdrop of lush green countryside. Turns out unicorns are rather more frightening than the sparkly ponies we were promised in childhood stories.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/40/4hLstNPnQXNhX3MfNPuGdGogE7i.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Film still showing a medieval tapestry depicting a peasant in flowing red robes who has been impaled by a white unicorn's horn, which is now stained with blood. The scene is set against a dark floral background in the style of classic medieval tapestries. Well, that's certainly put a dampener on all those romantic unicorn myths - turns out the pointy bit wasn't just for show after all.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/dust-bunny-film-review.html</loc>
<lastmod>2026-03-01T20:59:08+00:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/84/dust_bunny_header.png</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Promotional image for Dust Bunny (2025): Mads Mikkelsen broods magnificently at the top while various assassins look menacing around a small girl in a creepy bunny mask who is, presumably, the reason everyone's pointing guns at each other. Text reads: 'Dust Bunny - A Shallow AF Review'.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/84/Dust-Bunny-2025-1-Full.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[&quot;A scene from Dust Bunny: a small girl, a brooding hitman, and Sigourney Weaver sit down for what appears to be a very civilised afternoon tea, in a setting so aggressively floral it looks like a greenhouse shagged an Art Nouveau conservatory. Nobody looks like they're enjoying the sandwiches.&quot;]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/editing-the-theme-template-in-publii.html</loc>
<lastmod>2025-05-05T17:04:55+01:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/7/Weblog-Colour-Scheme-WiP.png</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[A screen grab of this website. The background is a taupe/blue and the text is varying shades of brown. It looks better than that sounds.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/embracing-the-chaos-my-adhd-af-t-shirt.html</loc>
<lastmod>2025-09-20T15:40:07+01:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/39/IMG_20250919_170117.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Me sporting my glorious purple beard in front of framed artwork, wearing a grey "ADHD AF" t-shirt with the helpful subtitle "what were we talking about?" Because subtlety is overrated when you're making a point about neurodivergent life.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/39/IMG_20250919_170210.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Back view of the same grey t-shirt revealing the punchline: &quot;ADHD AF - Powered by chaos and caffeine.&quot; Also visible: the back of my magnificently bald head, a small earring, and the edge of said purple beard.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/expend4bles-a-shallow-af-review.html</loc>
<lastmod>2026-03-01T20:59:37+00:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/22/exfuckinspend4bles.webp</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Movie poster for "The Expendables 4" showing a line of aging action stars including Statham, Stallone, 50 Cent, Fox, Lundgren, and others against a red and green explosion background. The tagline reads "OLD BLOOD MEETS NEW BLOOD" above the title "EXPEND4BLES" with a September 22 release date. Just another desperate attempt to squeeze money from a franchise that should've been put in a retirement home three films ago, featuring the usual suspects of actors who apparently can't say no to a paycheck.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/f1-the-movie-i-came-to-hate-i-stayed-because-it-looked-fucking-awesome.html</loc>
<lastmod>2025-08-31T23:26:49+01:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/25/f1_movie_poster16x9-1.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Brad Pitt stands heroically beside a Formula 1 car, wearing pristine racing overalls and sporting the kind of ruggedly handsome stubble that suggests he's never actually changed a tyre. The cinematic lighting and dramatic pose scream "I'm definitely the coolest 60-year-old on the grid" whilst the movie poster promises yet another Hollywood take on motorsport that'll probably make actual F1 fans wince.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/fish-finger-and-scampi-nik-naks-sandwich.html</loc>
<lastmod>2025-03-15T01:22:32+00:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/16/IMG_20250314_195210.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[A Fish Finger and Scampi Nik Naks Sandwich cut in half and photographed after one bite, revealing its architectural cross-section of pure culinary chaos. White bread bookends a garish orange filling where processed cheese attempts to contain an escaping avalanche of neon Nik Naks and beige fish fingers. The sandwich sits on a plain white plate atop what appears to be a desk with a gaming keyboard visible in the background - evidence that someone willingly transported this creation to a workplace, likely in violation of several unwritten laws of lunch etiquette and possibly the Geneva Convention.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/16/scampi_600x2x-2.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[The image shows a close-up of the &quot;SCAMPI 'n' LEMON&quot; text on what appears to be Nik Naks packaging. It features bold white text against a vivid green background with black splatter-style graphics, capturing the loud, artificial aesthetic typical of snack food branding that proudly announces its synthetic flavour with all the subtlety of a foghorn at a library.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/16/IMG_20250314_194824.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Two slices of aggressively plain white bread, slathered with butter and arranged on a plate with all the artistic flair of a tax return. A tub of cheap, knock-off 'I Can't Believe It's Not Butter' lurks in the background, presumably embarrassed to be associated with this culinary adventure. A can of Four Loko stands guard nearby, sensibly waiting to numb the taste buds of whoever's about to eat this.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/16/IMG_20250314_194859.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Stage two of our gourmet journey: A slice of white bread with a mountain of unnaturally orange Nik Naks dumped unceremoniously on top. The £1.25 price tag on the Nik Naks packet serves as a bitter reminder that you could have spent that money on literally anything else. The Four Loko, still waiting patiently to make this entire experience tolerable.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/16/IMG_20250314_194935.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[The plot thickens, as does the sandwich, with the addition of processed cheese slices that appear to have been peeled directly from their plastic wrapping approximately 4 seconds ago. The neon orange Nik Naks now entombed beneath cheese that's the exact same shade as a 1970s kitchen appliance.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/16/IMG_20250314_195036.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[The pièce de résistance arrives - four beige fish fingers carefully arranged atop the cheese like rectangular soldiers preparing for gastronomic battle. The fish fingers, having never been anywhere near an actual fish, look oddly proud of their promotion from freezer to plate status.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/16/IMG_20250314_195132.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[The completed masterpiece, sliced in half to reveal its architectural cross-section - a tragic layer cake of white bread, processed cheese, fish fingers and Nik Naks. A knife rests nearby, either for additional sandwich preparation or as a weapon against whoever suggested making this in the first place.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/fixing-publii-cannot-find-your-sites-folder.html</loc>
<lastmod>2025-05-05T20:42:22+01:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/21/Publii-Error-Message-2.png</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Windows error message with a red circular icon showing an X. The message reads: 'Publi cannot find your sites folder. Please check if the directory C:\Users\peeps\OneDrive\Documents\Public\sites exists or create it manually, then reopen the application.']]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/21/Publii-Sites-Folder-Settings.png</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[A Windows file explorer window showing a folder path. The directory path reads 'C:\Users\Paul\OneDrive\Documents\Public\sites'. Bloody typical Windows, a file path more complicated than the London Underground map.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/21/Publii-Error-Message.png</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Windows error message with a red circular icon showing an X. The message reads: 'Publi cannot find your sites folder. Please check if the directory C:\Users\peeps\OneDrive\Documents\Public\sites exists or create it manually, then reopen the application.' Typical Microsoft - always assuming I remember where I put things. As if I can find anything on my computer after a few pints.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/21/Publii-Config-Folder.png</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Screenshot of a Windows File Explorer window showing the contents of a 'config' folder. The navigation path reads 'This PC &gt; Documents &gt; Publi &gt; config'. Two JSON configuration files are displayed: 'app-config.json' and 'window-config.json', both with green checkmarks indicating they're synchronized. About as exciting as watching paint dry, but at least my files are properly sorted for once.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/21/Publii-app-config.json-file.png</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Snippet of a JSON configuration file with various settings. The code shows configuration parameters including 'openDevToolsInPreview' set to false, 'resizeEngine' set to 'sharp', and a file path pointing to 'C:\Users\Paul\OneDrive\Documents\Publi\sites'. Other settings include time format set to '24h' and 'closeEditorOnSave' set to true. Reminds me of when I try to assemble IKEA furniture—technical instructions that make perfect sense to someone, but certainly not to me.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/flow-state-meets-dnb-teaser.html</loc>
<lastmod>2026-02-02T20:58:33+00:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/80/AarDHD-Flow-State-Cover.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[A simple line drawing on a textured beige stone background. At the top is an abstract flowing symbol made of continuous looping black lines that cross and weave through each other. Below it is a minimalist illustration of an aardvark drawn in a single continuous black line, shown in profile facing right with its distinctive long snout, upright ears, and visible claws. At the bottom in black text: "AarDHD - Flow State (Vivid Flow Remix) Teaser" with the 'A' being a smaller version of the flowing symbol above.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/flow-state-something-new-coming-monday.html</loc>
<lastmod>2026-01-13T11:42:27+00:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/75/AarDHD-Flow-State-1280-x-720-px.png</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[A simple line drawing on a textured beige paper background. At the top is an abstract flowing symbol made of continuous looping black lines that cross and weave through each other. Below it is a minimalist illustration of a serene, floating aardvark drawn in a single continuous black line, shown in profile facing right with its distinctive long snout, upright ears, and visible claws. At the bottom in black text: "AarDHD - Flow State" with the 'A' being a smaller version of the flowing symbol above.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/frank-en-furter-my-vocal-stimstics-the-soundtrack-of-my-life.html</loc>
<lastmod>2026-04-05T01:24:13+01:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/95/want-chk-chka-chkaaaa.png</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Three-panel comic strip using the "want [x], no judgement, only [x]" meme format. A simply-drawn cartoon dog with a collar. Panel 1: the dog looks eager, captioned "want chk, chka chkaaaa!" Panel 2: the dog glances sideways, captioned "no judgement!" Panel 3: the dog looks satisfied, captioned "only chk, chka chkaaaa!" The text references the vocal stim/tic sound, echoing the rhythm of Yello's "The Race".]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/gif-test-can-crush.html</loc>
<lastmod>2025-01-12T01:22:07+00:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/14/GIF_20250111_214018_698.gif</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[A gif of a can being crushed in a wall-mounted levered can crusher.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/gin-advent-calendar-2025-day-4-darnleys-navy-strength-or-fortifying-myself-for-the-evenings-casework.html</loc>
<lastmod>2025-12-06T00:02:20+00:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/56/vlcsnap-2025-12-05-00h09m45s446.png</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Photo: A bald man with black-framed glasses and a long ginger and purple ombre beard sits facing the camera in a home office. He's wearing a pale pink hoodie with black text reading "you are enough" across the chest. His expression appears mid-speech. Behind him is a busy pegboard wall covered with framed posters including a Moseley Folk Festival 2015 lineup poster featuring acts like Teenage Fanclub and Nick Mulvey, various artwork, and colourful decorations. To the left, a computer monitor displays a purple screen with a cartoon character. A wooden desk with items on it sits beneath the pegboard. To the right is a bright blue painted door with a brass handle, and a large yellow rubber duck sits on a shelf nearby. The office has an eclectic, creative atmosphere with multiple colours and decorative elements throughout.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/gin-advent-calendar-2025-day-5-moonshot-gin-or-a-low-energy-whinge-day.html</loc>
<lastmod>2025-12-06T00:06:12+00:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/57/Gin-Advent-Calendar-Day-5.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Photo: A hand holding a small glass bottle of gin in sharp focus towards the camera, with a blurred background showing a person. The bottle has a black screw cap and a cream-coloured label reading "THAT BOUTIQUE-Y GIN COMPANY" at the top, followed by "Moonshot Gin" and "London Dry Gin" below. The clear liquid is visible inside the bottle. The person holding it is out of focus but appears to be wearing something pink or peach-coloured. In the soft-focus background, hints of a room with various colours including purple and yellow are visible.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/gin-advent-calendar-2025-day-6-edinburgh-gin-raspberry.html</loc>
<lastmod>2025-12-06T21:46:24+00:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/58/Gin-Advent-Calendar-Day-6.png</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Photo: A hand holding a small glass bottle of Edinburgh Gin towards the camera in sharp focus. The bottle contains red liquid and has a black wax sealed cap. The cream-coloured label displays the Edinburgh Gin logo at the top, followed by "Raspberry" and "Gin" in black text. Behind the bottle, slightly out of focus, a bald man wearing black-framed glasses sits in a bedroom setting. The grey wall features a white-framed artwork showing colourful butterflies in the upper left, and a Leopold Museum poster showing Gustav Klimt artwork on the right. A grey fabric headboard and white bedding are visible, along with a woman in a black floral top partially visible to the left.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/58/IMG_20251206_191523_edit_27291263188025.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Photo: Six empty small glass bottles of gin arranged in a row on a dark wooden surface, displayed in front of a framed photograph. Each bottle has a black screw cap and cream-coloured label. From left to right, the labels read: &quot;DRINKS BY THE DRAM Sipsmith Raffles 1915 Gin&quot;, &quot;DRINKS BY THE DRAM Gordon's Sicilian Lemon Gin&quot;, &quot;Tanqueray London Dry Gin&quot;, &quot;DRINKS BY THE DRAM Darnley's Navy Strength - Spiced London Dry Gin&quot;, &quot;THAT BOUTIQUE-Y GIN COMPANY Moonshot Gin London Dry Gin&quot;, and &quot;EDINBURGH GIN Raspberry Gin&quot;. Behind the bottles sits an ornate dark wooden frame with decorative carved corners containing a 25-year-old photograph of an 8-year-old girl wearing a small crown and red dress standing next to a woman wearing a wide-brimmed hat and red top. The scene is set against a textured cream or beige wall, with part of a dark electronic device visible on the right edge.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/gin-advent-calendar-a-three-day-catch-up-days-7-8-and-9.html</loc>
<lastmod>2025-12-10T01:12:18+00:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/59/IMG_20251210_010705_edit_93389644802915.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Photo: Close-up of three small glass bottles of gin with black screw caps arranged in a row on a dark wooden surface. From left to right: a bottle with a cream-coloured label reading "Tanqueray Blackcurrant Royale Gin" containing pink-tinted liquid, a bottle with a handwritten-style label reading "Bathtub Gin 43.3% ALC/VOL" containing clear liquid, and a bottle with a label reading "DRINKS BY THE DRAM Boatyard Sloe Boat Sloe Gin" containing reddish-brown liquid. In the soft-focus background, parts of framed photographs are visible, including what appears to be a burgundy ball gown. The bottles sit on a wooden surface.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/59/IMG_20251210_010709_edit_93435396862846.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Photo: Nine empty small glass bottles of gin arranged in a row on a dark wooden surface, displayed in front of two framed photographs. Each bottle has a black screw cap and cream-coloured label. From left to right, the labels read: &quot;DRINKS BY THE DRAM Sipsmith Raffles 1915 Gin&quot;, &quot;DRINKS BY THE DRAM Gordon's Sicilian Lemon Gin&quot;, &quot;Tanqueray London Dry Gin&quot;, &quot;DRINKS BY THE DRAM Darnley's Navy Strength - Spiced London Dry Gin&quot;, &quot;THAT BOUTIQUE-Y GIN COMPANY Moonshot Gin London Dry Gin&quot;, &quot;EDINBURGH GIN Raspberry Gin&quot;, &quot;Tanqueray Blackcurrant Royale Gin&quot;, &quot;Bathtub Gin 43.3% ALC/VOL&quot;, and &quot;DRINKS BY THE DRAM Boatyard Sloe Boat Sloe Gin&quot;. Behind the bottles on the left sits an ornate dark wooden frame containing a 25-year-old photograph of an 8-year-old girl with a small crown and a woman wearing a wide-brimmed hat, both in red tops. To the right is a light blue frame containing a photograph of two people in formal dress - one wearing a burgundy ball gown and the other in dark formal wear - standing in a garden with lattice fencing and foliage behind them. The scene is set against a textured cream wall.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/gin-advent-calendar-day-10-my-mannequin-gives-me-sales-advice.html</loc>
<lastmod>2025-12-10T23:58:32+00:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/60/IMG_20251210_224324.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Photo: A hand holding a small glass bottle photographed held in from of teh face of a mannequin. The bottle has a black wax sealed screw cap and a cream-coloured label reading "DRINKS BY THE DRAM Greater Than Gin London Dry Gin". The hand wearing multiple silver rings including a wide band is visible at the top of the frame, along with various bracelets including braided leather and metal chains. A rainbow-striped tie and a black jacket are visible behind the bottle.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/gin-advent-calendar-day-11-a-genuine-contender.html</loc>
<lastmod>2025-12-11T21:55:18+00:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/61/Screenshot-2025-12-11-201425.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[A hand holding a small glass bottle of gin towards the camera in sharp focus against a warm, softly lit background. The bottle has a black wax sealed screw cap and a cream-coloured label reading "HENDRICK'S GIN" in large text at the top, with "DISTILLED AND BOTTLED IN SCOTLAND" in smaller text above, followed by "Grand Cabaret" and "Gin" below. The bottle contains pale golden liquid. The background is deliberately blurred, showing warm amber and yellow lighting from string bulbs, with indistinct figures and pink fabric visible. The overall lighting creates a cosy, intimate atmosphere.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/61/IMG_20251211_190352_edit_155840949574977.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Ten empty small glass bottles of gin arranged in a row on a dark wooden surface, flanked by two white decorative busts. From left to right, the bottles read: &quot;DRINKS BY THE DRAM Sipsmith Raffles 1915 Gin&quot;, &quot;DRINKS BY THE DRAM Gordon's Sicilian Lemon Gin&quot;, &quot;Tanqueray London Dry Gin&quot;, &quot;DRINKS BY THE DRAM Darnley's Navy Strength - Spiced London Dry Gin&quot;, &quot;THAT BOUTIQUE-Y GIN COMPANY Moonshot Gin London Dry Gin&quot;, &quot;EDINBURGH GIN Raspberry Gin&quot;, &quot;Tanqueray Blackcurrant Royale Gin&quot;, &quot;Bathtub Gin&quot;, &quot;DRINKS BY THE DRAM Boatyard Sloe Boat Sloe Gin&quot;, and &quot;HENDRICK'S GIN Grand Cabaret Gin&quot;. Each bottle has a black screw cap and cream-coloured label. Behind the bottles are three framed photographs: on the left, an ornate dark wooden oval frame containing the 25-year-old photograph of an 8-year-old girl with a crown and a woman in a wide-brimmed hat, both wearing red; in the centre-right, a light blue rectangular frame showing two people in formal dress in a garden setting, one wearing a burgundy ball gown. The two white ceramic looking busts on either end of the display depict classical-style female figures, both giving the middle finger salute. The scene is set against a cream textured wall.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/gin-advent-calendar-day-12-were-a-bit-drunk-for-this-one.html</loc>
<lastmod>2025-12-13T01:23:49+00:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/63/Screenshot-2025-12-13-002643.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[focus against a warm, softly blurred background. The bottle has a black screw cap and a cream-coloured label reading "DRINKS BY THE DRAM" at the top, followed by "Caorunn Scottish Raspberry" and "Gin" below. The bottle contains pale pink or rose-tinted liquid. The background is deliberately out of focus, showing warm yellow and orange lighting, with a teal-coloured cushion visible on the left and indistinct figures in the centre-right. Warm string lights create bokeh effects in the background.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/gin-advent-calendar-day-13-the-post-party-gin.html</loc>
<lastmod>2025-12-16T11:11:59+00:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/64/Screenshot-2025-12-13-234140.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Photo: A hand holding a small glass bottle of gin in sharp focus against a soft, blurred background with warm peachy-pink tones. The bottle has a black screw cap and a pale mint green or cream-coloured label with "THE LAKES DISTILLERY" logo at the top in a cloud-like decorative border, followed by "Classic Gin" and "Gin" below. The bottle contains pale golden liquid. The background is deliberately out of focus, showing warm lighting and indistinct shapes suggesting people and interior furnishings.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/gin-advent-calendar-day-18-a-near-perfect-gin-and-a-rant-about-fnd.html</loc>
<lastmod>2025-12-19T21:40:15+00:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/67/Screenshot-2025-12-18-223530.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Photo: A hand holding a small glass bottle of gin towards the camera in sharp focus against a warm, softly blurred background. The bottle has a black screw cap and a cream-coloured label featuring a stylised tree illustration at the top, followed by "WHITLEY NEILL" in bold text with smaller text beneath reading "ESTABLISHED IN 1762 WIRRAL ESSEX", then "Rhubarb & Ginger" as the main descriptor, a horizontal line, and "Gin" at the bottom. The bottle contains pale golden or pink-tinted liquid. The background shows warm peachy-orange tones with soft focus, suggesting an interior setting with warm lighting. A hint of red is visible on the left edge, and indistinct blurred shapes suggest people in the background.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/gin-advent-calendar-day-19-north-uist-downpour-gin.html</loc>
<lastmod>2025-12-19T21:43:00+00:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/68/Screenshot-2025-12-19-204955.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Photo: A hand holding a small glass bottle of gin in sharp focus towards the camera against a warm, softly blurred background. The bottle has a black screw cap and a cream-coloured label reading "DRINKS BY THE DRAM" at the top, followed by "North Uist Downpour Gin", a horizontal line, and "Dry Gin" below. The bottle contains clear liquid. The background is deliberately out of focus, showing warm peachy-orange and purple tones with indistinct blurred shapes suggesting people and interior furnishings. Light bokeh is visible in the upper left corner.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/gin-advent-calendar-day-2-an-unexpected-aroma.html</loc>
<lastmod>2025-12-03T02:44:40+00:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/54/Drinks-by-the-Dram-Gin-Advent-Calendar-Day-2.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Photo: A hand holding a small glass bottle of gin towards the camera, dominating the foreground. The bottle has a dark grey screw cap and a white label reading "DRINKS by the DRAM" with "Gordon's Sicilian Lemon" and "Gin" printed below. The pale golden liquid is visible inside. Behind the bottle, slightly out of focus, sits a woman with red hair wearing a black top and red apron on a grey sofa, smiling at the camera. A man in a white and blue sleeved shirt sits next to her, his hand extended holding the bottle. A red and black tartan blanket covers their laps. The familiar living room setting shows pale pink curtains, cream walls with framed photographs, and purple curtains visible to the right. A decorative sequined cushion sits on the sofa to the left.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/gin-advent-calendar-day-3-a-review-from-bed.html</loc>
<lastmod>2025-12-05T00:59:56+00:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/55/Drinks-by-the-Dram-Gin-Advent-Calendar-Day-3.png</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Photo: A bald man with black-framed glasses and a full purple beard holds a small glass bottle of Tanqueray London Dry Gin towards the camera. The bottle has a dark green cap and a cream-coloured label with gold lettering. His hands dominate the foreground, with gold-painted nails visible on one hand. Behind him, a woman with bright red hair wearing a black top with coral or pink floral patterns sits on a bed with a grey fabric headboard. The bedroom setting features a grey wall with a white-framed artwork showing colourful butterflies or flowers in the upper left, and a Leopold Museum poster on the right side.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/gin-advent-calendar-days-14-and-15-a-flavoured-gin-catch-up.html</loc>
<lastmod>2025-12-16T11:11:34+00:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/65/Screenshot-2025-12-15-211405.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Photo: Two hands holding small glass bottles of gin against a soft, warm peachy-pink blurred background. On the left, a bottle with a black screw cap containing dark reddish-brown liquid. The label features a pink and purple gradient background with "THAT BOUTIQUE-Y GIN COMPANY" text at the top, an illustration of a red cherry and dark berries below, and "CHERRY GIN" text. A small yellow badge showing "WORLD GIN AWARDS" is visible on the label. On the right, a bottle with a black screw cap containing pale golden liquid. The label is cream-coloured with simple black text reading "JAFFA CAKE GIN" followed by a horizontal line and "Gin" below. The background shows warm lighting and indistinct soft shapes suggesting an interior setting.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/65/IMG_20251215_194346_edit_237795403536162.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Photo: Fifteen empty small glass bottles of gin arranged in a row on a dark wooden surface, flanked by white decorative busts and framed photographs. From left to right, the bottles read: &quot;DRINKS BY THE DRAM Sipsmith Raffles 1915 Gin&quot;, &quot;DRINKS BY THE DRAM Gordon's Sicilian Lemon Gin&quot;, &quot;Tanqueray London Dry Gin&quot;, &quot;DRINKS BY THE DRAM Darnley's Navy Strength - Spiced London Dry Gin&quot;, &quot;THAT BOUTIQUE-Y GIN COMPANY Moonshot Gin&quot;, &quot;EDINBURGH GIN Raspberry Gin&quot;, &quot;Tanqueray Blackcurrant Royale Gin&quot;, &quot;Bathtub Gin&quot;, &quot;DRINKS BY THE DRAM Boatyard Sloe Boat Sloe Gin&quot;, &quot;HENDRICK'S GIN Grand Cabaret Gin&quot;, &quot;DRINKS BY THE DRAM Greater Than Gin&quot;, &quot;DRINKS BY THE DRAM Caorunn Scottish Raspberry Gin&quot;, &quot;THE LAKES DISTILLERY Classic Gin&quot;, &quot;JAFFA CAKE GIN&quot;, and what appears to be &quot;THAT BOUTIQUE-Y GIN COMPANY Cherry Gin&quot; with a pink label. Each bottle has a black screw cap. Behind the bottles are four framed photographs: the ornate dark wooden oval frame containing the 25-year-old photograph of an 8-year-old girl and woman in red, a light-coloured rectangular frame showing two people in formal dress in a garden, a brown wooden frame with another photograph, and additional family photos. On the far left is a tall decorative bottle with coloured horizontal stripes. Two white classical-style busts bookend the display. The scene is set against a cream or beige textured wall.Claude is AI and can make mistakes. Please double-check responses.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/gin-advent-calendar-days-16-and-17-in-which-i-introduce-my-new-assistant-glenda.html</loc>
<lastmod>2025-12-18T00:56:25+00:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/66/Screenshot-2025-12-17-235438.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Photo: Two hands holding small glass bottles of gin against a soft, warm blurred background. On the left, a bottle with a black screw cap containing amber or golden-brown liquid. The cream-coloured label reads "THAT BOUTIQUE-Y GIN COMPANY" at the top, followed by "Spit-Roasted Pineapple Gin" and "Gin" below. On the right, a slightly larger bottle with a black screw cap containing pale golden liquid. The cream-coloured label features a simple illustration of a Japanese-style design or character at the top, with "ROKU GIN" text and "Gin" below. The background shows soft focus with warm peachy tones and hints of purple, suggesting people and warm interior lighting.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/gin-advent-calendar-the-grand-belated-finale.html</loc>
<lastmod>2025-12-29T21:54:56+00:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/71/Screenshot-2025-12-29-194641.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Three people in what appears to be a home office or creative space. In front on the left, a woman with bright red hair styled up, wearing a sparkly dark jumper with metallic gold threading. In front on the right, a bald man with black-framed glasses and a long purple beard, wearing a dark grey t-shirt with gold and orange text reading "ACTUALLY AUTISTIC". He's holding up his right hand showing four fingers extended, displaying multiple silver rings and wearing colourful festival-style wristbands and a braided blue and yellow bracelet. Behind them stands a younger man with reddish-brown hair wearing a dark dressing gown, looking at the camera. Behind them on the left is the female mannequin upper torso with lampshade decorated with bright pink tinsel, white plush seagull, and various ornaments on a dark purple wall. A large display of reflective circules arranged in rows is visible in the centre background. On the right, a mannequin, head out of shot, wears a black sleeveless jacket, decorated with various colourful badges including rainbow stripes, "STAY WEIRD" text, and chains. The setting has cream-coloured and blue walls with various decorative items throughout.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/71/IMG_20251229_212624.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Photo: Twenty-five empty small glass bottles of gin arranged in a row on a dark wooden surface, flanked by white decorative busts, framed photographs, and decorative items. From left to right, the bottles have black screw caps and cream-coloured labels reading various brands including multiple &quot;DRINKS BY THE DRAM&quot; bottles, &quot;Tanqueray&quot;, &quot;THAT BOUTIQUE-Y GIN COMPANY&quot;, &quot;EDINBURGH GIN&quot;, &quot;JAFFA CAKE GIN&quot;, &quot;EAST LONDON LIQUOR CO.&quot;, &quot;KYRÖ DISTILLERY COMPANY&quot;, and &quot;NEVER NEVER DISTILLING CO.&quot; One bottle has a distinctive pink label. Behind the bottles on the left is an ornate dark wooden oval frame containing a 25-year-old photograph of an 8-year-old girl and woman in red. Next to it is a light-coloured rectangular frame showing two people in formal dress in a garden setting. A brown wooden frame contains another photograph. On the far left is a tall decorative horn with coloured horizontal stripes, and a white classical-style bust. Small decorative items are visible between bottles, including a Christmas-themed lego figurine and a card reading &quot;Someone like you Makes it all Worthwhile&quot; with bee illustrations. On the right side are more decorative items including a framed artwork of a sloth. A white classical-style bust is positioned on the far right. The scene is set against a cream textured wall.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/gin-advent-days-20-and-21-a-solo-session-with-aviation-gin-and-a-ginger-powerhouse.html</loc>
<lastmod>2025-12-22T12:21:34+00:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/69/Screenshot-2025-12-21-221245.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Photo: Two hands holding small glass bottles of gin against a soft, warm blurred background with peachy-pink tones. On the left, a bottle with a black screw cap containing pale golden or pink-tinted liquid. The cream-coloured label displays the Edinburgh Gin logo at the top, followed by "Rhubarb & Ginger", a horizontal line, and "Gin" below. On the right, a bottle with a black screw cap containing pale golden liquid. The cream-coloured label reads "DRINKS BY THE DRAM" at the top, followed by "Aviation Gin", a horizontal line, and "Gin" below. The background shows warm lighting with indistinct blurred shapes suggesting people and interior furnishings, with hints of purple visible.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/gin-advent-days-22-and-23-the-one-we-forgot-to-pack-and-the-gigs-we-didnt.html</loc>
<lastmod>2025-12-27T20:03:18+00:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/70/Screenshot-2025-12-26-212936.png</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Photo: Two hands holding small glass bottles of gin against a soft, warm blurred background with peachy-orange tones. On the left, a bottle with a black screw cap containing pale golden liquid. The cream-coloured label reads "EAST LONDON LIQUOR CO." at the top, with a horizontal line below and "Gin" at the bottom. On the right, a bottle with a black screw cap containing pale golden liquid. The cream-coloured label displays "DRINKS BY THE DRAM" at the top, followed by "Nordés Atlantic Galician Gin" and "Gin" below. The background is deliberately out of focus, showing warm lighting with indistinct blurred shapes suggesting people and interior furnishings, with hints of red and purple visible.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/70/IMG_20251227_195017.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Photo: Twenty-one empty small glass bottles of gin arranged in a row on a dark wooden surface, flanked by white decorative busts and framed photographs. From left to right, the bottles read: &quot;DRINKS BY THE DRAM Sipsmith Raffles 1915 Gin&quot;, &quot;DRINKS BY THE DRAM Gordon's Sicilian Lemon Gin&quot;, &quot;DRINKS BY THE DRAM&quot; (label partially visible), &quot;Tanqueray London Dry Gin&quot;, &quot;DRINKS BY THE DRAM Darnley's Navy Strength - Spiced London Dry Gin&quot;, a bottle with unclear labeling, &quot;THAT BOUTIQUE-Y GIN COMPANY Moonshot Gin&quot;, &quot;DRINKS BY THE DRAM&quot;, &quot;EDINBURGH GIN Raspberry Gin&quot;, several bottles with &quot;DRINKS BY THE DRAM&quot; labeling, &quot;THAT BOUTIQUE-Y GIN COMPANY Cherry Gin&quot; (with pink label), &quot;JAFFA CAKE GIN&quot;, bottles marked &quot;DRINKS BY THE DRAM&quot;, &quot;EDINBURGH GIN Rhubarb &amp; Ginger&quot;, &quot;DRINKS BY THE DRAM Aviation Gin&quot;, &quot;DRINKS BY THE DRAM&quot;, &quot;DRINKS BY THE DRAM Nordés Atlantic Galician Gin&quot;, &quot;EDINBURGH GIN&quot; (label partially visible), a bottle with unclear labeling, &quot;EAST LONDON LIQUOR CO. Gin&quot;, and &quot;DRINKS BY THE DRAM&quot;. Each bottle has a black screw cap and cream-coloured label. Behind the bottles are four framed photographs: on the left, an ornate dark wooden oval frame containing the 25-year-old photograph of an 8-year-old girl and woman in red; a light-coloured rectangular frame showing two people in formal dress in a garden; and a brown wooden frame with another photograph. On the far left is a tall decorative bottle with coloured horizontal stripes. Two white classical-style busts bookend the display on either side. Small decorative items are visible between some bottles. The scene is set against a cream or beige textured wall.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/how-i-accidentally-ended-up-with-my-own-css-framework-aardcss.html</loc>
<lastmod>2026-03-18T09:45:46+00:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/88/GitLab-aardCSS.png</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Screenshot of the aardCSS project on GitLab, featuring a cartoon aardvark avatar with what appears to be a mohawk. 25 commits. Somehow this is a real thing that exists now.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/how-i-built-purpleaardvarkuk-a-random-meme-generator-website.html</loc>
<lastmod>2025-03-17T13:59:04+00:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/17/purpleaardvark-uk.png</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[A shite meme generated on purpleaardvark.uk]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/i-bought-a-ps75-box-of-christmas-spirit-was-it-a-mistake.html</loc>
<lastmod>2025-12-01T22:40:06+00:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/53/Drinks-by-the-Dram-Gin-Advent-Calendar-Dahy-1.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Photo: Two people sitting on a sofa in a living room. On the left, a woman with bright red hair wearing a black top, smiling at the camera. On the right, a bald man with a purple beard wearing a black t-shirt with "GAP" printed on it, looking directly at the camera with a neutral expression. Behind them are pale pink curtains and a wall with framed photographs. In the foreground on the left is part of a decorative cushion with an animal print pattern.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/i-built-a-website-for-my-wifes-spoonie-community-heres-how-that-went.html</loc>
<lastmod>2026-03-07T22:16:44+00:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/85/burntwoodspoonies-uk.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Screenshot of the burntwoodspoonies.uk homepage, showing the hero section. Large white text reads "You're not alone," with "bab." below it in cyan and pink. A dark navy background with a faint jellyfish image behind bold watermark text. Subheading reads "Powered by Tea, Sarcasm & Naps." Three call-to-action buttons: Find Your Tribe, Learn More, and Healthcare Professional? The day-aware greeting reads "Saturday, bab. No obligations here. Have a look around, see if this feels like your kind of place."]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/i-have-a-new-radio-show-on-lichfield-radio.html</loc>
<lastmod>2026-04-14T12:09:55+01:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/94/Lichfield-Radio-Logo-Transparent-Background.png</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Lichfield Radio logo. A circular design split into two halves. The upper half has a light grey background featuring Spike, the station mascot — a cheerful cartoon character with three spiky points of hair representing the three spires of Lichfield Cathedral, holding a small "+" symbol. The lower half is a deep purple — aubergine, claret, or burgundy, depending on who you ask — bearing the text "LICHFIELD RADIO" in bold white capitals, with the tagline "Let's Accentuate the Positive" in white italic script beneath.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/i-own-my-stuff-now-sort-of-posse-and-theaardvarkcouk.html</loc>
<lastmod>2026-03-20T18:14:35+00:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/89/posse-header.png</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[A two-tone badge in teal and amber. The left half says POSSE in large bold letters. The right half says 'publish own site' in case you were wondering.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/89/posse-badge.png</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[A two-tone badge in teal and amber. The left half says POSSE in large bold letters. The right half says 'publish own site' in case you were wondering.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/its-not-balls-all-the-way-down.html</loc>
<lastmod>2025-11-03T19:03:47+00:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/50/Educational-Gaslighting.png</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Text over abstract quantum physics background with glowing orbital patterns. The text describes the progressive teaching of atomic models from childhood through education: starting with solids, liquids and gases; progressing to ball-and-stick molecules; then solar system-style atoms; then quantum probability clouds and quarks. Each stage is punctuated with dry British humour noting how each previous model was wrong but useful. The post concludes: 'Anyway. This is a post about the complex biology of gender.' Attribution to @theaardvark and theaardvark.co.uk shown.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/ive-not-been-ok.html</loc>
<lastmod>2024-12-21T00:35:10+00:00</lastmod>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/new-logo-and-a-lick-of-paint-over-at-wheely-happy-days.html</loc>
<lastmod>2026-01-27T17:04:40+00:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/78/sha-taylor-avatar.png</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[A cartoon illustration showing a woman with bright red wavy hair and round black glasses, wearing a dark blue top and bright pink boots. She sits in a wheelchair decorated with a vibrant sun motif wheel featuring the text "WHEELY HAPPY DAYS" in white letters around an orange and yellow radiating sun design. The style is bold and cheerful with a retro feel.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/78/gallery/16-paul-taylor-thumbnail.png</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[A cartoon illustration of a yellow Fraggle character with large googly eyes and a golden-yellow moustache and beard, wearing a white shirt, dark waistcoat, and a red, green, and yellow tartan kilt with an orange button as a sporran. The character has a tail and stands in the Gorgs' garden with brown rocky walls, green plants, and pink radishes growing from the ground. The style mimics Jim Henson's Fraggle Rock aesthetic.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/78/gallery/wild-things-13-paul-t-thumbnail.png</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[A cartoon illustration in Maurice Sendak's 'Where the Wild Things Are' style showing a wild thing character with cream-colored horns, wearing round yellow glasses, and sporting a magnificent ginger-orange beard that covers most of its body. The creature has tan furry arms raised up, white scaled legs with clawed feet, and a ginger tail. Set against a teal background with scratchy foliage patterns and simple grass at the bottom. The character appears joyful and energetic in typical wild thing fashion.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/78/gallery/18a-patb-paul-t-thumbnail.png</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[A cartoon illustration in Animaniacs style showing a Wakko Warner-inspired character with a ginger deard, wearing black-framed glasses, a red top hat, black top, red kilt, white gloves, and orange-detailed boots. The character is running while holding up a contract document with a gold seal and blue ribbon. Set against a blue and green geometric background with a circular gradient.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/78/gallery/Sharon-Mindy-thumbnail.png</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[A cartoon illustration in Animaniacs style showing a young girl with purple hair in two buns, large green eyes, wearing a black top and yellow skirt with white socks and black shoes. The character is running energetically while holding up a contract document with a gold seal and blue ribbon. Set against a blue and green geometric background with a circular gradient. The art style mimics the classic Warner Bros. animation aesthetic.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/78/gallery/18c-patb-paul-t-thumbnail.png</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[A cartoon illustration combining both characters from the previous images - the young girl in black and yellow running alongside the ginger bearded character in the top hat and red kilt. Both are holding their respective contract documents. The scene is set against the same blue and green geometric background with circular gradient, creating a dynamic duo composition in classic Animaniacs animation style.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/78/gallery/turning-red-11-paul-t-thumbnail.png</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[A cartoon illustration in Pixar's 'Turning Red' animation style showing a large fluffy red panda with orange and white fur, wearing a black bowler hat, standing beside a human character. The human figure wears a black bowler hat, has a ginger beard, and is dressed in a dark grey top, skirt, and red trainers with white laces. The character stands with arms crossed in a confident pose next to the giant red panda. Set against a gradient red background that shifts from deep red at the edges to lighter pink in the centre, matching the film's vibrant aesthetic.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/oh-supermen.html</loc>
<lastmod>2024-12-28T16:05:08+00:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/11/Oh-Supermen.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[An AI generated image showing multiple vinyl repeating into the distance in a colourful retro futuristic city scape]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/on-audhd-panic-attacks-and-paradoxes.html</loc>
<lastmod>2026-03-09T10:12:29+00:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/87/On-AuDHD-Panic-Attacks-and-Paradoxes.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Photo of a formal council chamber with dark wood panelling and ornate decor. Around 30 people are seated at a large curved table, most in suits, with laptops and papers in front of them. A bald man in a blue and white striped shirt stands with his back to the camera, addressing the room — standing out somewhat from the sea of formal attire. At the far end, several officials are seated at a raised platform. Everyone appears to be paying attention, which makes a nice change.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/onesongoneplaylist-the-beat-goes-on-and-on-and-on.html</loc>
<lastmod>2025-10-01T09:54:01+01:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/43/And-the-beat-goes-on.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Digital artwork: A record turntable with a vinyl spinning on the platter, set against a cosmic backdrop. The sky above swirls with vibrant nebula clouds in golden amber, turquoise, and deep purple, with scattered stars throughout. Wispy tendrils of cosmic energy flow upward from the record, as if the music itself is creating the universe. The turntable is dark grey with orange accent lighting, featuring a tonearm with a red cartridge. Rather cosmic for a Tuesday afternoon.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/page/10/</loc>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/page/11/</loc>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/page/2/</loc>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/page/3/</loc>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/page/4/</loc>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/page/5/</loc>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/page/6/</loc>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/page/7/</loc>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/page/8/</loc>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/page/9/</loc>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/pickled-onion-review-1-stockwell-pickled-onions-from-tesco.html</loc>
<lastmod>2025-08-30T15:01:14+01:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/23/Stockwell-Pickled-Onions.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[A glass jar of Stockwell & Co pickled onions sits on a wooden worktop, looking about as enthusiastic as the onions inside - which appear rather anaemic and floating listlessly in their "vinegar and acetic acid" like they've given up on life. The blue label promises quality since 1924, though the pale, unappetising contents suggest standards may have slipped a touch.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/pickled-onion-review-10-waitrose-malt-vinegar-and-balsamic-vinegar-pickled-onions.html</loc>
<lastmod>2025-10-06T14:12:25+01:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/45/IMG_20251002_234456_edit_104018280751464.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[ Photo: Two glass jars of Waitrose pickled onions with silver lids on a wooden surface against a bright pink background. Left jar contains pale onions in malt vinegar, right jar has darker onions in balsamic vinegar.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/45/IMG_20251002_234629_edit_104224205138052.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Photo: Close-up of the jar labels showing ingredients lists. The malt vinegar version lists onions, barley malt vinegar, water, sugar, salt, acidity regulator, allspice and spice extracts. The balsamic version shows onions, balsamic vinegar made from grape must and wine vinegar, water, salt, and acidity regulator.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/45/IMG_20251002_234548_edit_104122682829913.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Photo: Two pickled onions suspended on pickle forks between the opened jars against the pink background. The left onion from the malt vinegar is pale cream-coloured, the right one from balsamic vinegar is darker brown. A compelling study in allium contrast.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/pickled-onion-review-11-the-funky-food-cos-guinness-pickled-onions-and-marmite-pickled-onions.html</loc>
<lastmod>2025-10-24T20:48:46+01:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/47/IMG_20251002_231438.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Two sealed jars of Funky Food Co. pickled onions on a wooden surface against a white backdrop with partial text visible. Left jar has a black label for "Guinness Pickled Onions in Malt Vinegar" with illustrations of onions and Guinness bottles. Right jar has a white label for "Marmite Pickled Onions in Malt Vinegar With Marmite" with similar illustrations including a Marmite jar.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/47/IMG_20251002_231712.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Photo: Both jars with metal forks holding pickled onions above them. Two onions from each jar rest on the fork prongs, showing the colour difference - the Guinness onions appearing lighter and more golden, the Marmite onions showing a slightly darker, more amber tone. The white backdrop features partial lettering, and the composition demonstrates the visual comparison between the two varieties.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/47/IMG_20251002_231824.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Close-up of the back labels of two Funky Food Co. jars showing ingredients and allergen information. The left jar (Guinness pickled onions) lists ingredients including onions, malt vinegar, Guinness 50%, barley, sugar, salt, spirit vinegar, acidity regulator, and acetic acid. The right jar (Marmite pickled onions) lists silver skin onions, marmite, celery, gluten, malt vinegar, barley, sugar, salt, spirit vinegar, acidity regulator, and acetic acid. Both labels include allergen advice highlighting ingredients in bold.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/pickled-onion-review-12-garners-original-pickled-onions-and-pickled-shallots.html</loc>
<lastmod>2025-10-26T22:39:17+00:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/48/IMG_20251008_174658_edit_644140961568079.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Photo: Two jars of Garner's pickled onions on a white surface with a green garden backdrop. The smaller jar on the left is "Pickled Shallots" (traditionally hand peeled and pickled in a spiced malt vinegar, with a "great taste" award logo), and the larger jar on the right is "Original Pickled Onions" (traditionally hand peeled and pickled in a rich malt vinegar). Both jars display the Garner's shield-style label with "THE ULTIMATE TASTE & CRUNCH" tagline.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/48/IMG_20251008_174759_edit_644292451116355.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Photo: Two opened jars of Garner's pickled products photographed outdoors against a green grass background, with metal forks holding pickled onions above each jar. The smaller jar on the left contains pickled shallots, whilst the larger jar on the right contains original pickled onions. The onions appear golden and translucent, suspended on the fork prongs ready for tasting.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/48/IMG_20251008_174725_edit_644212845433573.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Photo: Top-down view into both opened Garner's jars showing the pickled onions floating in their dark amber malt vinegar. The left jar contains smaller shallots whilst the right jar shows larger original pickled onions. The glass jar threads are visible, and the rich colour of the malt vinegar is clearly displayed against the green grass background.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/48/IMG_20251008_174835_edit_644369381372419.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Photo: Close-up of the back labels of two Garner's jars showing ingredients and nutritional information. The left jar (Pickled Shallots) lists shallots, barley malt vinegar, sugar, water, sea salt, and spices. The right jar (Original Pickled Onions) lists onions, barley malt vinegar containing colour barley malt extract, sugar, water, sea salt, and spices. Both labels include allergen advice noting cereals containing gluten in bold, nutritional information per 100g drained, and confirmation that both products are suitable for vegetarians and vegans.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/pickled-onion-review-12-kits-kitchen-pickled-shallots.html</loc>
<lastmod>2025-11-02T02:12:13+00:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/49/IMG_20251101_221149_edit_28638371891366.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Photo: Sealed jar of Kit's Kitchen Fine Foods Pickled Shallots (480g) with a copper-coloured lid and cream-coloured label featuring the brand's logo and "Gold Award Winner" badges. The jar shows the pickled shallots and spices clearly visible through the glass, with a metal fork partially visible at the bottom right of the frame against a white background. Those award badges suggest someone, somewhere, takes their pickled shallots very seriously indeed.RetryClaude can make mistakes. Please double-check responses.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/49/IMG_20251101_221705_edit_29959931687268.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Photo: Close-up of a jar label showing ingredients and allergy information. The label lists &quot;Shallots, Malt Vinegar from (Barley), Brown Sugar, Salt, Mustard Seed and Spices&quot; as ingredients, with allergy advice noting &quot;For allergens see ingredients listed in bold&quot; followed by nutritional information below. A straightforward list that manages to make preserved onions sound almost sophisticated.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/49/IMG_20251101_221313_edit_28709624779307.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Photo: Top-down view into an opened jar showing several pale pickled shallots floating in dark amber-coloured pickling liquid scattered with visible mustard seeds and other spices. The shallots appear plump and well-preserved, with the spiced vinegar clearly displaying its ingredients throughout the jar. It's like looking into a tiny vinegary universe where shallots drift serenely amongst their mustard seed companions.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/49/IMG_20251101_221440_edit_28796002389170.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Photo: Single pickled shallot on a metal fork held above an opened jar against a white background. The shallot appears golden and translucent with a darker brown patch where it's been sliced or where the root end was, showing the characteristic appearance of a properly pickled specimen ready for evaluation. It's the moment of truth - will this be brilliant or bin-worthy?]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/pickled-onion-review-13-bartons-pickled-onions-and-bartons-silverskin-onions.html</loc>
<lastmod>2025-11-28T22:30:20+00:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/51/IMG_20251128_191116_edit_179868979185915.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Two glass jars of Bartons pickled onions on a wooden surface. Left jar has a beige label reading "Traditional Pickled Onions" containing pale brown onions. Right jar has a pale blue label reading "Crisp & Tangy Silverskin Onions" containing white onions. Both jars have gold lids and feature the Bartons "Choicest Picklers" logo. Colourful fabric visible in background.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/51/IMG_20251128_191335_edit_179770136661265.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[ Two forks extended over the opened jars, each holding pickled onions. Left fork holds two pale brown traditional pickled onions with visible root marks. Right fork holds three white silverskin onions. Colourful patterned fabric in background.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/51/IMG_20251128_191453_edit_179715943473161.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Close-up of jar labels showing ingredients. Traditional Pickled Onions (beige label) lists ingredients: Onions, Water, Barley Malt Vinegar, Sugar, Spirit Vinegar, Salt, Malted Barley Extract, Preservative. Silverskin Onions (pale blue label) lists: Silverskin Onions, Water, Spirit Vinegar, Salt, Flavouring, Preservative. Both show &quot;1905&quot; heritage badge, &quot;Quality Checked&quot; stamp, and Eddie Barton ]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/51/IMG_20251128_191136_edit_179817871174424.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Overhead view of two opened jars on a colourful patterned fabric. Left jar contains traditional pickled onions in brown malt vinegar. Right jar contains silverskin onions in clear vinegar. Both show whole, peeled onions submerged in their respective pickling liquids.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/pickled-onion-review-14-dr-burnoriums-ghost-pepper-psycho-onions.html</loc>
<lastmod>2025-12-11T23:06:51+00:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/62/IMG_20251211_222016_edit_157434446166244.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Photo: Glass jar of Dr. Burnorium's Extraordinary Psycho Onions Ghost Pepper Naga pickled onions on a red background. The label features a cartoon skull wearing a top hat with a manic grin, and red text on black. The jar contains pale onions in vinegar with a silver twist-off lid.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/62/IMG_20251211_221729_edit_157525280377147.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Photo: Ingredients and nutritional information panel showing &quot;Heat Level 10+ XXX HOT.&quot; Lists ingredients as Onions, Naga Jolokia, Water, Acetic Acid, Spirit Vinegar, Flavouring. Includes standard nutritional values per 100g, storage instructions, and barcode. Website psychojuice.com visible.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/62/gallery/IMG_20251211_221706_edit_157563871296716-thumbnail.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Photo: Close-up of jar label showing humorous warning text in white on black background. Header reads 'Serious Pickles for Serious Chilli heads' with skull and crossbones. Eight warning points include 'The longer you leave 'em the hotter they get,' 'You may experience pain. Do not panic,' and 'Just quit your whining and have another damn pickle.' Dr. Burnorium Twitter handle visible at bottom.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/62/gallery/IMG_20251211_221951_edit_157493874533930-thumbnail.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Photo: White plate with two items - a pale pickled onion  on a fork on the left showing visible onion rings, and a wrinkled dark red ghost pepper on the right. Behind them, the Psycho Onions jar and a pink bottle of Pepto Bismol stomach relief medicine. The compositional joke is clear.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/pickled-onion-review-15-the-funky-food-cos-honey-pickled-onions-and-apple-cider-vinegar-pickled-onions.html</loc>
<lastmod>2025-12-30T19:11:42+00:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/73/IMG_20251230_011122.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Two sealed jars of The Funky Food Co pickled onions with black lids, showing the full labels. Left: Honey Pickled Onions in Malt Vinegar With Honey. Right: Apple Cider Pickled Onions in Apple Cider. Both jars are approximately half-full of pale pickled onions in clear liquid. Background shows partial purple text.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/73/IMG_20251230_011231.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Two opened jars of The Funky Food Co pickled onions on a wooden surface with their lids placed beside them. Left jar: Honey Pickled Onions in Malt Vinegar with Honey. Right jar: Apple Cider Pickled Onions in Apple Cider. In front of the jars is a pink grapefruit-shaped ceramic dish containing five pickled onions arranged in a circle. Background shows partial text giving theaardvark's (former) Twitter (RiP) handle and Facebook address.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/73/IMG_20251230_011342.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Close-up of ingredient labels on both jars. Left label reads: &quot;Ingredients: silver skin onions, honey, malt vinegar (BARLEY) sugar, salt Spirit vinegar, acidity regulator, Acetic acid. Allergen Advice: For allergens, see ingredients in bold.&quot; Right label reads: &quot;Ingredients: silver skin onions, apple cider (50%) white spirit vinegar malted (BARLEY) sugar, salt Spirit vinegar, acidity regulator, Acetic acid. This product is produced in an area where peanuts&quot;]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/73/IMG_20251230_011301.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Top-down view looking into both opened jars. Left jar contains darker amber-coloured honey vinegar with pickled onions visible beneath the surface. Right jar shows lighter, clearer apple cider vinegar with pickled onions. Both jars show the liquid and onions from directly above.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/73/Pink-Grapefruit-Dish.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Photo: Ceramic dish shaped and painted as a pink grapefruit slice, viewed from above. Six pale pickled onions are arranged in a circle on the dish's surface, which features detailed segments radiating from a central circle, painted in coral pink with white membrane lines. The rim is painted and textured to resemble grapefruit peel in orange and yellow tones. Liquid from the pickled onions pools in the centre and segments.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/pickled-onion-review-2-tesco-tangy-and-crisp-pickled-onions.html</loc>
<lastmod>2025-08-31T18:41:37+01:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/24/IMG_20250831_013210_edit_78382048526192.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[A jar of Tesco pickled onions sits on a wooden surface against the ornate backdrop of a Klimt painting, with its characteristic swirling patterns and geometric designs in blues, golds, and earth tones. The jar contains plump white onions floating in amber-coloured vinegar, looking considerably more promising than their Stockwell & Co rivals. The label boldly claims they're "tangy & crisp" - words that fill one with cautious optimism after recent pickled onion disappointments. Rather fitting that they're posed against such artistic splendour, really.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/24/IMG_20250831_013256_edit_78353066136619.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[A top-down view into an opened glass jar reveals about eight small, translucent pickled onions floating in rich amber-coloured vinegar. The thick glass rim frames the contents as they sit submerged in their golden brine on a weathered wooden surface with visible grain patterns. Behind the jar, an intricate section of Klimt painting displays his signature swirling spirals, geometric mosaics, and jewel-toned patterns in blues, golds, and emerald greens - providing rather grand artistic company for what turned out to be a perfectly adequate, if slightly artificial, pickled onion experience.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/24/IMG_20250831_163031_edit_78285270697895.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[A close-up of a product label showing the top line which reads &quot;Onions pickled in spirit vinegar&quot; in white text on a brown background - a refreshingly honest description that doesn't oversell what's essentially vegetables having a bit of a soak in some artificially reinforced vinegar.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/24/IMG_20250831_163513_1_edit_78225488923855.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[A pale, translucent pickled onion sits impaled on a small silver cocktail fork, balanced precariously across the rim of its glass jar like a reluctant diver contemplating the plunge back into the amber depths below. The fork's metallic surface catches the light against the sumptuous backdrop of Klimt's swirling golden spirals and jewel-encrusted mosaics - rather like presenting a modest pub snack on a Renaissance altar. The onion itself appears to have accepted its fate with typical British stoicism.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/24/IMG_20250831_162942_edit_78314181150644.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[A close-up of an ingredients list in white text on a brown label, revealing the rather lengthy chemical composition behind what should be simple pickled onions: onion, water, spirit vinegar, salt, acetic acid, malted barley extract, and a small chemistry set of preservatives including sodium hydrogen sulphite and sodium metabisulphite. Rather puts you off your lunch when you realise how much effort it takes to pickle an onion these days.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/pickled-onion-review-3-sarsons-superb-silverskin-onions.html</loc>
<lastmod>2025-09-05T12:23:41+01:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/26/IMG_20250905_120425.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[A jar of Sarson's Superb Silverskin onions sits on a wooden surface against a colourful fabric backdrop featuring bold red, orange, yellow, and turquoise stripes. The orange and burgundy label promises "bring crunch with a distinctive tang" - ambitious claims for what is a merely acceptable addition to a pickled onion enthusiast's pantry.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/26/IMG_20250905_121729.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/26/IMG_20250901_195116.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[A single pale silverskin onion sits speared on a small silver pickle fork, ready for tasting. The onion has that translucent quality you want to see - suggesting it's been properly pickled through, though only the actual taste will reveal whether Sarson's has achieved the right balance.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/26/IMG_20250901_195203.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[The jar's back label reveals a fairly standard ingredients list: silverskin onions, water, spirit vinegar, sugar, salt, and the usual preservatives.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/pickled-onion-review-4-marks-and-spencer-traditional-pickled-onions.html</loc>
<lastmod>2025-09-07T17:53:34+01:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/29/IMG_20250907_174038.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[A glass jar of M&S pickled traditional onions sits on a wooden surface against a backdrop of vibrant knitted fabric in stripes of red, orange, yellow, navy, and mint green. The jar contains golden-brown vinegar with pale pickled onions visible through the glass, while the white and cream label prominently displays the M&S Food branding and promises these are "hand peeled and classically pickled in rich malt vinegar for a tangy, distinctive flavour and crunchy bite.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/29/IMG_20250907_005842.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[A jar of M&amp;S pickled traditional onions sits open, revealing plump white onions floating in amber vinegar. The jar's label is clearly visible against a colourful knitted background.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/29/IMG_20250907_005931_edit_79165166856153.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Close-up of silver tongs extracting a perfectly round pickled onion from the jar, with more onions visible floating in the vinegar below. The tongs grip the onion like it's precious cargo.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/29/IMG_20250907_010017_edit_79123511725335.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Close-up of the ingredients list on the jar's label, showing onions, barley malt vinegar (contains gluten), sugar, water, sea salt, and ground spices including ginger, cinnamon, and cloves.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/pickled-onion-review-5-aldis-the-deli-silverskin-pickled-onions.html</loc>
<lastmod>2025-09-14T20:25:23+01:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/32/IMG_20250912_190856.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Two glass jars of pickled silverskin onions from Aldi's Deli range sit on a dark wooden surface against a shimmering silver disco ball backdrop. The left jar contains "Sweet Silverskin Onions" with tiny onions in a dirty brown liquid, whilst the right jar holds plain "Silverskin Onions" with pale white onions. Both have black lids and white labels featuring illustrated onions.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/32/IMG_20250912_190948.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Two opened jars of pickled silverskin onions viewed from above, revealing their disappointing contents. The left jar shows tiny sweet onions floating in amber-coloured liquid, while the right jar contains anaemic-looking white onions in clearer vinegar. A glittery disco ball surface sparkles menacingly in the background, as if mocking the poor quality of the onions below.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/pickled-onion-review-6-black-country-chip-van-onion.html</loc>
<lastmod>2025-09-14T20:44:05+01:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/34/IMG_20250914_165857.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Photo: Hand holding a portion of golden chips in white paper wrapping with a wooden fork, accompanied by a pickled onion. The chips look properly crispy and well-seasoned, photographed with a stone surface background. Classic Black Country fare at its finest.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/34/IMG_20250914_165806.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Photo: Mobile fish and chip van called &quot;The Vintage Fish and Chips Van&quot; parked on a high street, with brown and teal livery advertising &quot;Sea Fresh Fish &amp; Chips&quot; and &quot;Fresh Fish Daily&quot;. A customer in jeans stands at the serving window, and there's a pavement sign advertising &quot;Black Country&quot; fish &amp; chips for £6.50.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/34/IMG_20250913_153754_edit_142560448613376-2.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Photo: Large glass jar of Driver's &quot;Chip Shop Style Pickled Onions&quot; (2.25kg) sitting in the window of a chip shop van, surrounded by other condiment containers. The industrial-sized jar suggests serious pickled onion consumption is expected.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/34/IMG_20250913_153858.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Photo: Chalk menu board for &quot;Black Country Fish &amp; Chips Menu&quot; displaying prices including fish &amp; chips (£6.50), various items like jumbo sausage (£2.50), and notably pickled onion (50p) and pickled egg (£1) at the bottom.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/pickled-onion-review-7-baxters-a-tale-of-two-silverskins.html</loc>
<lastmod>2025-09-19T14:05:30+01:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/36/IMG_20250918_220905.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Photo: Two sealed jars of Baxters pickled onions sitting side by side on a wooden surface - one large silverskin onions, one regular silverskin onions - with an aardvark print on turquoise material as backdrop. Both jars display the classic Baxters branding with "Passionate About Good Food Since 1868" on the lids, ready for the tasting that's about to commence.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/36/IMG_20250913_173556_edit_263419761247532.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[The same two Baxters jars now opened, showing a top-down view of the pickled onions floating in their dark amber pickling liquid. The onions appear plump and well-preserved, with the liquid having that rich, malty colour that suggests proper fermentation. The aardvark print provides a rustic backdrop as the evaluation begins.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/36/IMG_20250918_221125.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Photo: The testing phase in full swing - metal pickle forks hold several pickled onions above each opened jar for comparison. The onions glisten appetisingly in their amber-coloured brine against the wooden surface, whilst the aardvark print completes this thoroughly British tasting setup.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/pickled-onion-review-8-mands-balsamic-onions-and-a-slice-of-humble-pie.html</loc>
<lastmod>2025-09-20T12:00:08+01:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/38/IMG_20250920_110435_edit_305710097816035.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Photo: Full jar of M&S Collection Balsamic Pickled Onions on a wooden surface against a child's hand-painted ceramic plate decorated with blue wavy lines representing the sea and red and white stripes. The dark amber liquid and golden onions are visible through the clear glass, with the premium M&S branding and allergy information clearly displayed on the label.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/38/IMG_20250920_110645.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Photo: Single pickled onion on a metal fork against a child's hand-painted ceramic plate decorated with blue wavy lines representing the sea and red and white stripes. The onion appears golden and translucent but darker than most pickled silverskin onions.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/38/IMG_20250920_110805.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Close-up of a jar label for M&amp;S Collection Balsamic Pickled Onions, showing the product description &quot;Delicious with COLD MEATS &amp; CHARCUTERIE, also a perfect accompaniment to a CHEESEBOARD&quot; along with nutritional information and ingredients list including silverskin onions with balsamic vinegar, honey and mustard seeds.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/pickled-onions-review-9-the-dogs-bollocks-pickled-onions-from-the-funky-foody-co.html</loc>
<lastmod>2025-09-30T15:05:04+01:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/42/IMG_20250926_232641.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Photo: A large glass jar of pickled onions in malt vinegar sits on a wooden surface. The label reads "The Dogs Bollocks Pickled Onions in Malt Vinegar" from The Funky Food Co., featuring a sketch of a dog's face. Behind the jar is a white plate decorated with red and blue brushstrokes and a yellow flower. The background shows a shimmery magenta and silver sequined fabric.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/42/IMG_20250926_124319_edit_51676705387369.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Photo: Close-up of an open jar of pickled onions with a single pale onion balanced on a cocktail stick across the rim. Behind the jar sits the same decorative plate with its cheerful red, blue and yellow design, whilst magenta sequins sparkle in the background.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/42/IMG_20250926_124232_edit_51615635937705.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Photo: Close-up of the jar label showing ingredients list. The text reads &quot;Onions, malt vinegar BARLEY, sugar, salt Spirit Vinegar, acidity regulator, acetic acid&quot; with allergen advice noting that BARLEY is in bold. Part of The Funky Food Co. logo and the dog illustration are visible at the bottom of the label.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/pig-2021-a-shallow-af-review.html</loc>
<lastmod>2026-03-01T20:59:55+00:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/10/Pig-Shallow-AF-Banner.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/10/Pig-2021-review-movie.jpeg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[A movie still  showing Nicholas Cage looking like a wild-man-from-the-woods stitting on the stoop of a shack with his small, truffle-hunting pig.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/plastic-jesuses-the-original-onesongoneplaylist-resurrected.html</loc>
<lastmod>2025-03-30T02:47:56+01:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/19/Plastic-Jesuses.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[A glowing plastic Jesus figurine on a car dashboard, complete with heavenly halo, while an army of multi-coloured Jesuses float outside the windscreen. The rear-view mirror reads 'Jesuit Jesuit' – apparently even divine navigation needs a backup. Your dashboard saviour and his technicolour dream choir, ready to protect you."]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/purple-beard-test.html</loc>
<lastmod>2024-12-06T22:25:41+00:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/1/742bd0615e57d2e2-2.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[A close up selfie of my face (50 year old, bald, pale skinned man), passport photo style but when a blue background.  My beard is purple. It's pretty hard to convey how purple exactly. The shade is slightly uneven and nearer to pastel then it is to Cadbury's.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/1/742bd0615e57d2e2.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/review-heinz-monster-munch-pickled-onion-mayo.html</loc>
<lastmod>2025-11-30T21:17:23+00:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/52/b1cd0d88f658ae18.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Photo: An upside-down squeezy bottle of Heinz Monster Munch Pickled Onion Flavour Mayo on a wooden worktop. The bottle has a purple label with the distinctive Monster Munch mascot and cartoon bats. Behind it sits a blue "Drinks by the Dram" gift box, because apparently my kitchen has become a shrine to questionable flavour combinations. The mayo is pale yellow, which is either reassuring or deeply concerning depending on your relationship with pickled onions—and mine is clearly complicated.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/road-house-2024-review.html</loc>
<lastmod>2026-03-01T21:00:32+00:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/4/Roadhouse_Main.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Jake Gyllenhaal from Road House (2024)]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/4/road-house-jake-gyllenhaal.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/search.html</loc>
<lastmod>2026-03-08T20:32:32+00:00</lastmod>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/the-electric-state-2025-a-shallow-af-review.html</loc>
<lastmod>2026-03-01T20:59:43+00:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/18/electric_state_ver2.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[A promo image for the movie "The Electric State". It features a cartoonish robot's spherical yellow head looking straight out of the image.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/the-frankie-powers-of-love-onesongoneplaylist.html</loc>
<lastmod>2026-04-12T14:26:49+01:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/96/The-Frankie-Powers-of-Love.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[A distressed 12-inch vinyl single sleeve for Frankie Goes To Hollywood's "The Power of Love" leans against a stack of records on a wooden surface. The cream sleeve features mixed-size typographic lyrics — "The power(s) of love / A force from above / cleaning my SOUL / Flame on, BURN desire / LOVE with tongues of fire / Purge theSOUL / MAKE LOVE YOUR GOAL" — alongside the band's logo, a small band photograph, and ZTT Records branding.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/the-game-i-lost.html</loc>
<lastmod>2025-03-31T21:58:30+01:00</lastmod>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/the-gift-of-a-drumstick-and-much-more.html</loc>
<lastmod>2025-09-08T00:30:34+01:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/15/IMG_20250216_195038.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[My right hand, wearing too many rings and festival wristbands, holding a drumstick. Behind it is a framed sign on a door. The sign has Bentley Rhythm Ace's logo and the partially obscured words "Dressing Room"]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/15/Reading-1997-3806128827.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[The line-up poster for Reading festival 1997. Acts include Suede, Cast, James, Manic Street Preachers, The Orb, Space, Metallica, Terrorvision, Bush and Bentley Rhythm Ace.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/15/IMG_20250216_203200.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Bentley Rhythm Ace at Bearded Theory 2024]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/15/IMG_20250216_170619.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[3 illuminated letters with visible bulbs inside. They spell out B R A.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/the-irregular-an-occasional-email-thing.html</loc>
<lastmod>2026-03-21T16:49:58+00:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/91/the-irregular-header.png</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[A cartoon aardvark with a slightly unhinged grin stands to the right. To the left, in large serif type: "The Irregular" — described beneath as "an occasional email from theaardvark." The aardvark looks exactly as surprised as you should be that this newsletter exists.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/the-irregular.html</loc>
<lastmod>2026-03-21T15:52:37+00:00</lastmod>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/the-ultimate-scottish-breakfast-our-first-attempt.html</loc>
<lastmod>2025-12-30T11:18:59+00:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/72/IMG_20251228_165209.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Photo: Close-up of a Scottish breakfast plate showing the layered construction: fried egg on black pudding, with haggis slices, beans spilling across the plate, potato scones, Lorne sausage, and bacon. The champagne flute stands guard in the background.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/72/IMG_20251228_173043.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Raw ingredients laid out on a wooden chopping board: sliced haggis, white pudding rounds stacked up, black pudding slices, bacon rashers on gingham paper, Lorne sausage squares, and potato scones in packaging. Everything present and correct for inspection.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/72/IMG_20251228_165905.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Photo: Two champagne flutes filled with orange juice standing between plastic-wrapped ingredients on gingham tea towels. A bottle of Prosecco Rosé lurks behind them. Breakfast labels visible on the potato scones. We're having Buck's Fizz, obviously.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/72/IMG_20251228_165649.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Photo: Five square Lorne sausage slices arranged in a circular air fryer basket, raw and ready for cooking. The geometric precision of Scottish breakfast engineering.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/72/IMG_20251228_165526.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Photo: White pudding, black pudding, Lorne sausage and sliced haggis arranged in the basket of an air-fryer. The band forming ready for their performance.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/72/IMG_20251228_165422.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Photo: Bacon rashers laid out and cooking on a grill pan,  before their transformation into proper breakfast material.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/72/IMG_20251228_165321.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[hoto: Three fried eggs and sliced mushrooms sizzling in a black frying pan. The eggs have vibrant orange yolks and are at that perfect stage where the whites are just set. This is where the magic happens.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/72/IMG_20251228_164950.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Photo: A full Scottish breakfast on a white plate with a champagne flute of orange juice and a jar of Baxters Alberta Victorian Pickle. The plate contains black pudding, white pudding, haggis slices, baked beans, a fried egg, two grilled potato scones, Lorne sausage, and bacon, all arranged against a stainless steel splashback.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/72/IMG_20251228_165109.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Photo: Two full Scottish breakfast plates side by side on a wooden board, each with a champagne flute of orange juice between them. Both plates are loaded with the full works: black pudding, white pudding, haggis, beans, eggs, potato scones, sausage, bacon, and grilled tomato. Because one breakfast is never enough.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/unboxing-the-circular-ring-2-an-experiment.html</loc>
<lastmod>2025-09-05T13:13:31+01:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/27/Circular-Ring-2-Unboxed.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[A sleek smart ring in rose gold with a black interior sits on a wooden desk next to its square charging case, alongside a white "CIRCULAR" branded box promising to "#ElevateYourLife" - which is quite optimistic. A cartoon aardvark peeks cheekily from sign in the background, presumably judging my latest gadget purchase.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/unjaring-aldis-the-deli-pickled-silverskin-onions.html</loc>
<lastmod>2025-09-12T13:14:49+01:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/31/Unjaring-Aldis-the-Deli-Pickled-Silverskin-Onions.png</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Bald man with glasses and a purple beard wearing a grey t-shirt with "ACTUALLY AUTISTIC" in yellow and orange text, holding up two jars of pickled silverskin onions - one labelled "Pickled Silverskin Onions" and the other "Pickled Sweet Silverskin Onions". Behind him is a cluttered home office with shelves of collectibles, a bright blue door, and computer monitors displaying a purple cartoon aardvark. The expression suggests he's about to deliver a verdict that could make or break someone's onion-pickling career.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/unjaring-episode-4-the-baxters-silverskin-onions-double-bill.html</loc>
<lastmod>2025-09-14T20:38:43+01:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/33/Screenshot_20250913_213132.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Bald man with glasses and a purple beard holding up two jars of Baxters pickled silverskin onions - on the left "Large Silverskin Onions" and on the right "Silverskin Onions"  - both with distinctive red and white Baxters labels. The jars are held close to the camera, showing the onions floating in their brown pickling liquid. Behind him is his disorganised home office setup with collectibles on shelves, including what appears to be a rubber duck and various pop culture memorabilia. His expression suggests he's mid-explanation, presumably about the merits of Scotland's finest preserved alliums.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/unjaring-fart-starters-ring-stingers-and-ass-blasters-pickled-onions.html</loc>
<lastmod>2025-12-31T02:11:00+00:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/74/Screenshot-2025-12-30-231610.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Photo: Three glass jars of pickled onions from The Funky Food Co. arranged left to right. Labels read "Fart Starters", "Ring Stingers", and "Ass Blasters" - all pickled onions in malt vinegar with chillies. Each label features an illustration of an onion, chillies, and a vinegar bottle. The jars contain pale onions visible through the glass, with varying levels of visible chilli pieces in the brine.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/74/Screenshot-2025-12-30-235017.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Photo: theaardvark holding a bottle of Severn Cider towards the camera. He's wearing black-framed glasses over an eye patch covering his right eye, giving a pirate aesthetic. His mouth is open mid-speech. The bottle has a cream-coloured label with green apple illustrations and &quot;Severn Cider&quot; text. Green and blue ambient lighting illuminates the background pegboard wall with the TTHEAARDVARK’S RADIO SHOW. Silver ring visible on his hand holding the bottle.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/unjaring-garners-pickled-onions-and-pickled-shallots.html</loc>
<lastmod>2025-10-08T23:11:49+01:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/46/Unjaring-Garners-Pickled-Onions.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Bald man with glasses and a vibrant purple beard wearing a purple hoodie, outdoors in a garden and holding up two jars of Garner's pickled onions - "Original Pickled Onions" (traditionally hand peeled and pickled in a rich malt vinegar) on the left, and "Pickled Shallots" (traditionally hand peeled and pickled in a spiced malt vinegar) on the right. Behind him is lush green foliage with trees and shrubs creating a natural backdrop. His expression suggests he's about to deliver his considered opinion on these artisanal preserves.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/unjaring-kits-kitchen-pickled-onions.html</loc>
<lastmod>2025-09-10T12:58:36+01:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/30/Unjaring-Kits-Kitchen-Pickled-Onions.png</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Bald man with glasses and a magnificent purple-dyed beard wearing a mustard yellow hoodie, holding up a jar of Kit's Kitchen pickled onions towards the camera in his home studio. Behind him are shelves crammed with collectibles, a bright blue door, and a white banner reading "THEAARDVARKS RADIO SHOW" with a pink cartoon aardvark logo. The pickled onions look suspiciously appetising for something that's about to be thoroughly judged.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/unjaring-mands-balsamic-vinegar-pickled-onion.html</loc>
<lastmod>2025-09-15T13:11:00+01:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/35/Unjaring-MandS-Balsamic-Pkickled-Onions.png</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Screen grab: Bald man with glasses and a purple beard wearing a black Inspiral Carpets t-shirt with green text reading "cool as fuck" and a cow wearing green sunglasses, holding up a jar of balsamic pickled onions towards the camera. Behind him is his familiar home office with shelves of collectibles, a bright blue door, and various pop culture memorabilia. His expression suggests he's about to deliver another informed verdict on the quality of preserved alliums.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/unjaring-mands-traditional-pickled-onions.html</loc>
<lastmod>2025-09-07T16:37:58+01:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/28/2025-09-07-MandS-Trad-Pickled-Onion-Unjaring.png</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[A bald, bespectacled chap with an impressively purple-tinted beard holds up a jar of M&S pickled traditional onions to the camera. Behind him sits the controlled chaos of a home office-cum-recording studio, complete with a "theaardvark's Radio Show" poster, a rubber duck (because of course there is), and a bright blue door that's probably seen more drama than EastEnders. The expression suggests this pickle jar might contain either culinary gold or his greatest mistake - the sort of face one pulls when about to find out if yesterday's leftover curry was a brilliant idea or a terrible miscalculation.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/unjaring-the-dogs-bollocks-pickled-onions-from-the-funky-food-co.html</loc>
<lastmod>2025-09-19T14:05:09+01:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/37/Unjaring-The-Dogs-Bollocks.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Bald man with glasses holding up a large jar of "The Dogs Bollocks" pickled onions in malt vinegar from The Funky Food Co., featuring a distinguished dog illustration on the label. Behind him is his familiar home office setup with collectibles on shelves, a bright blue door, computer monitors displaying what appears to be a fantasy landscape, and a rubber duck amongst the various pop culture memorabilia. His expression suggests he's about to deliver a verdict on this rather boldly-named preserve.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/37/IMG_20250915_160115_edit_164872330054708.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[A cream-coloured plush aardvark sits on a wooden desk, brandishing a four-pronged pickle fork where the middle tine has been bent upwards in a rather rude gesture. Behind the aardvark, a keyboard glows with purple backlighting. In front sits a business card reading &quot;That's So Rude! Thank you for your order - it is very much appreciated. Please do call again should you wish to offend anyone in the near future&quot; with the Etsy shop URL. The aardvark sports a turquoise Jellycat tag, clearly demonstrating that even the most refined stuffed animals occasionally need to express themselves in less than polite ways.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/unjaring-the-funky-food-co-guinness-and-marmite-pickled-onions.html</loc>
<lastmod>2025-10-03T15:46:37+01:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/44/Funky-Food-Co-Guiness-and-Martmie-Pickles-Onions.png</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Bald man with glasses and a purple beard wearing a black t-shirt, holding up two jars of Funky Food Co. pickled onions - Marmite pickled onions in malt vinegar (left jar with white label featuring the distinctive Marmite branding) and Guinness pickled onions in malt vinegar (right jar with black label). Behind him is his familiar home office with shelves of collectibles, framed artwork, a bright blue door, and a rubber duck visible amongst the memorabilia. His expression suggests he's about to embark on what could be described as either a culinary adventure or an act of madness, depending on one's tolerance for bold flavours.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/unjaring-waitrose-pickled-onions.html</loc>
<lastmod>2025-09-25T21:36:18+01:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/41/Unjaring-Waitrose-Pickled-Onions.png</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Photo: Bald man with glasses and a purple beard wearing a grey t-shirt, holding up two jars of Waitrose pickled onions - one appears to be pickled onions in balsamic vinegar (left jar with darker contents) and one pickled onions in malt vinegar (right jar with lighter, more traditional-looking onions). Behind him is his familiar home office setup with shelves of collectibles, a bright blue door, and a rubber duck amongst various pop culture memorabilia. His expression suggests he's mid-comparison between these two Waitrose offerings.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/using-publii-to-blog-pt-1.html</loc>
<lastmod>2024-12-20T23:32:45+00:00</lastmod>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/whamacea.html</loc>
<lastmod>2024-12-20T01:00:08+00:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/6/Whamacea.jpg</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[an AI image representing a playlist of 235 versions of Last Christmas. It features a young woman in winter clothers surrounded by cassettes, vinyl and, I think, an 8-task all with "Last Christmas" written on them.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
<url>
<loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/why-theaardvark-an-origin-story.html</loc>
<lastmod>2026-02-12T18:30:39+00:00</lastmod>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/82/theaardvark.png</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Photo: Black line drawing of an aardvark in profile on a pale grey textured background. The aardvark faces right with its characteristic long snout and ears, shown in a simplified cartoon style with visible claws on all four feet. Below the drawing is the text "theaardvark" in bold black lowercase letters.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
<image:image>
<image:loc>https://theaardvark.co.uk/media/posts/82/thewarthog-2.png</image:loc>
<image:title><![CDATA[Cartoon: Black line drawing of a warthog in profile on a white background. The warthog faces right, showing its characteristic tusks, spiky mane along its back, pointed ears, and thin tail. The illustration uses simple bold outlines in a cartoon style similar to the aardvark design.]]></image:title>
</image:image>
</url>
</urlset>