Pickled Onion Review #3: Sarson's Superb Silverskin Onions

theaardvark’s law on product names: If they have to put a positive adjective in the product title, you can guarantee it won’t apply. “Quality Hotels”, “Innocent Smoothies, almost anything with the word “premium” in the name….. and “Sarsons Superb Silverskin Onions”.

The jar, in a rather optimistic font, describes its contents as possessing "crunch with a distinctive tang". A bold claim, and one that demands immediate and serious investigation. After all, in the world of pickled onions, a distinctive tang is not merely a feature; it is the entire point.

Upon opening, the onions themselves look... well, like small onions. No surprises there. I don’t understand the obsession with using silverskin onions to pickle. They’re just too small for me.

The crunch is present, one must concede. But the "distinctive tang"? It seems the marketing department was having a particularly enthusiastic day. There is definitely a tang, in the same way that a single, distant firework could be described as a "display". It’s a fleeting, apologetic hint of what could have been.

A closer inspection of the ingredients list reveals the source of this culinary mediocrity. No acetic acid, which is a promising start, but then the corner-cutting begins. They've scrimped on the vinegar, opting not for proper malt vinegar but for a rather sad "spirit vinegar with barley malt added". It's like wanting a pint of real ale and being handed a warm can of lager-shandy. To add insult to injury, there's an unnecessary, fake sweetness from added sugar, presumably to distract from the general lack of vinegary conviction.

Ultimately, these are acceptable, everyday pickled onions. They will not offend. They will not excite. They will certainly not set your world alight. They are the beige Vauxhall Viva of the pickled onion world: perfectly functional, utterly forgettable.

A profoundly adequate 3 onions out of 5.
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