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Food ⁽¹³⁾

Blog posts by theaardvark about food

7 September 2025

A bald, bespectacled chap with an impressively purple-tinted beard holds up a jar of M&S pickled traditional onions to the camera. Behind him sits the controlled chaos of a home office-cum-recording studio, complete with a "theaardvark's Radio Show" poster, a rubber duck (because of course there is), and a bright blue door that's probably seen more drama than EastEnders. The expression suggests this pickle jar might contain either culinary gold or his greatest mistake - the sort of face one pulls when about to find out if yesterday's leftover curry was a brilliant idea or a terrible miscalculation.

Unjaring M&S Traditional Pickled Onions

Spontaneity, Elastic Bands, and Pickled Onions You know that feeling? That undeniable…

5 September 2025

A jar of Sarson's Superb Silverskin onions sits on a wooden surface against a colourful fabric backdrop featuring bold red, orange, yellow, and turquoise stripes. The orange and burgundy label promises "bring crunch with a distinctive tang" - ambitious claims for what is a merely acceptable addition to a pickled onion enthusiast's pantry.

Pickled Onion Review #3: Sarson's Superb Silverskin Onions

theaardvark’s law on product names: If they have to put a positive…

31 August 2025

A jar of Tesco pickled onions sits on a wooden surface against the ornate backdrop of a Klimt painting, with its characteristic swirling patterns and geometric designs in blues, golds, and earth tones. The jar contains plump white onions floating in amber-coloured vinegar, looking considerably more promising than their Stockwell & Co rivals. The label boldly claims they're "tangy & crisp" - words that fill one with cautious optimism after recent pickled onion disappointments. Rather fitting that they're posed against such artistic splendour, really.

Pickled Onion Review #2: Tesco Tangy and Crisp Pickled Onions

Lately, I've found myself developing an almost unhealthy obsession with pickled onions.

30 August 2025

A glass jar of Stockwell & Co pickled onions sits on a wooden worktop, looking about as enthusiastic as the onions inside - which appear rather anaemic and floating listlessly in their "vinegar and acetic acid" like they've given up on life. The blue label promises quality since 1924, though the pale, unappetising contents suggest standards may have slipped a touch.

Pickled Onion Review #1: Stockwell Pickled Onions from Tesco

So, I've decided to turn my 20-a-day pickled onion "habit" into something…

14 March 2025

A Fish Finger and Scampi Nik Naks Sandwich cut in half and photographed after one bite, revealing its architectural cross-section of pure culinary chaos. White bread bookends a garish orange filling where processed cheese attempts to contain an escaping avalanche of neon Nik Naks and beige fish fingers. The sandwich sits on a plain white plate atop what appears to be a desk with a gaming keyboard visible in the background - evidence that someone willingly transported this creation to a workplace, likely in violation of several unwritten laws of lunch etiquette and possibly the Geneva Convention.

Fish Finger and Scampi Nik Naks Sandwich

After setting up the weblog, I had a flurry of posts to…

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