Dust Bunny (2025) Film Review - A Shallow AF Takedown

This is our Shallow AF Dust Bunny film review.

Tired of pretentious film reviews banging on about "character arcs" and "thematic resonance" when all you want to know is if the explosions look cool? Welcome to "Shallow As Fuck Movie Reviews" – for people who'd rather enjoy films than dissect them like some chin-stroking, turtleneck-wearing twat in a sodding biology class.

Dust Bunny (2025). Bryan Fuller's critically acclaimed “family horror” film sees a little girl hiring an assassin to...

"Oh. It's a rip-off of Léon, then." says MrsVark from the other sofa.

Five minutes later.... "Oh. Not like Léon, then."

Thirty minutes later... "Ah, yes. Like Léon. But.... Fucking. Weird." Honestly, it’s incredible how she illiterates both the formatting and the punctuation in that sentence; the brilliant lunatic.

But she's not wrong. Dust Bunny is what you'd get if you put Léon: The Professional and a twisted fairy tale like Pan's Labyrinth in a blender, topped it off with a fistful of Grade-A nutter-bastard, then added a dash of Twin Peaks for spice and Drop Dead Fred [for the Brits - or Ryan Reynold’s beautifully unhinged fever dream, IF, for everyone else].. Throw in some properly nightmarish, Jim Henson-on-a-bad-acid-trip style monster effects for good measure, and you’ve got yourself the dog’s bollocks of a film!

The little girl, 10-year-old Aurora - played by Sophie Sloan, who, thank-Christ, never once looks like a pretentious, arse-faced drama school brat hamming it up - hires her hitman neighbour (Mads Mikkelsen) to kill the monster under her bed. It's got the brooding killer and precocious kid dynamic, but it swerves hard into surreal, messed-the-hell-up "storybook quality" horror.

You’ll spend the first ¾ of the film trying to work out whether the monster is real, like The Thing, or just a kid's imagination explaining away some properly fucked-up, arse-backwards shit, like Life of Pi. For the rest… you’ll have no sodding doubt. It's balls-out bonkers.

Mads Mikkelsen does his usual thing of looking effortlessly cool and menacing while everything goes to complete and utter shit around him, the jammy bastard. Sigourney Weaver rocks up (stealing every sodding scene she’s in as she always does these days), seemingly to just send more gormless assassins after him, because why the bloody hell not? It's a proper bastard of an action flick with the kind of gritty "inventive fight choreography" and "bloody shootouts" you expect these days. Enough to keep John Wick and Nobody fans entertained. But it also looks twatting good, so if you like your films with more depth than my bollocks reviews, there’s some stuff for you too, you arty-farty twat.

So, is it a rip-off of Léon? Well, bits of it clearly are, you muppet. It's Léon if Jean Reno had to fight a demonic sock puppet. It's weird, it's violent, and it's damned entertaining. A proper, balls-to-the-wall belter.

I give it 5, and a dead-bunny, out of 6.
🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰💀