Pickled Onion Review #10: Waitrose Malt Vinegar and Balsamic Vinegar Pickled Onions

A Tale of Two Vinegars & Middle-Class Disappointment

Alright, you magnificent connoisseurs of all things pickled, let's talk about Waitrose. The shop that makes you feel like you should have worn a tie just to browse the condiment aisle.

These onions cost nearly 50% more than the other decidedly middle-class onions I tried, from M&S. So you'd be forgiven for expecting a pickled onion that understands its purpose in life. You'd expect an onion that has summered in the Hamptons and winters in Gstaad. An onion with opinions on the wine it should be paired with.

The Main Event: Waitrose Pickled Onions in Malt Vinegar

Let's start with the one that should have been a slam dunk, Waitrose Pickled Onions in Malt Vinegar. The whole point of a proper malt vinegar onion is the "tang". That assertive, mouth-filling sharpness that cuts through. It's the entire reason for being.

And these just didn't have it.

To be fair, the onions themselves were decent; sizeable and with a proper, satisfying crunch. The use of genuine malt vinegar gave them a rounded flavour that you don't get from the sad, pale imitation spirit vinegar some manufacturers use. But the critical element, the bite—the tang—was missing. It's like being handed a pint of real ale that's gone flat. The "allspice spice extracts" on the label? Utterly pointless; they brought nothing to the party. It's a beige Vauxhall Viva* of a pickled onion: perfectly functional, utterly forgettable.

Rating: 3 / 5
🧅🧅🧅❌❌

The Surprise Contender: Waitrose Pickled Onions in Balsamic Vinegar

Now, here's where things get weird. I've previously stated that any onion aspiring to sweetness has fundamentally misunderstood its purpose. I was ready to write this one off as another middle-class affectation. But, as the M&S ones proved, I was wrong.

Surprisingly, the Waitrose Pickled Onions in Balsamic Vinegar actually had some of the tang and sharpness that the malt vinegar ones were so desperately lacking. This, combined with the dark, treacle-like sweetness from the balsamic, made for a genuinely more interesting and satisfying flavour.

This isn't the sharp, vinegary friend you were expecting. It's more like a distant, sweet cousin who showed up to the party with a completely different agenda. An agenda I hadn't originally expected in my naive pre-pickled-onion-obsessive days, but one that I'm coming to find a place for.

Rating: 3.5 / 5
🧅🧅🧅🌗❌

The Verdict

Ultimately, this was a frustrating experience. The balsamic onions were better only because the malt vinegar ones failed at their one job. They were the ones I found myself reaching for more often for a quick pickled onion hit.

At this price, it feels like another case of a supermarket getting ideas above its station. Just like with the M&S onions, they've managed to create a "middle-class" pickled onion, but this time it's at the expense of the flavour that truly matters.

Disappointing.

¹Red. It's always a red wine with pickled onions. Preferably a heavy one with a big peppery after taste.

²Em-dash: I worry that the inclusion of an em-dash in my writing will suggest that I'm using AI to write it. I do use a spelling and grammar checker that changed my "-" to a "—", but the rest of this shite is the product of my own weird cognition.

³Vauxhall Viva: My first car was a beige Vauxhall Viva. It cost £250 in 1989. There's a whole other blog post possible about that car.