PIG (2021) - A Shallow AF Review

Do film reviews seem too intellectual and "deep" for you? Do you not understand a review that criticises the "lack of character development and poor choice of colour palate" for a film you loved cos The Dread Pirate Roberts won his princess? Then you need "The Shallow As Fuck Film Review".

Damn, Pig (2021) fucking rocks! Cage barely says shit the whole time and it's like, holy crap, he's actually killing it? This might be his best shit since... fuck, I can't even remember.

Let's face it, the Ghost Rider movies were just about good enough to occupy a few hours on a dead bank holiday. And "The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent" was either just too clever for me to get or hammed-up self-indulgent shite.

Think John Wick, but way slower, and instead of blasting dudes, it's all about this badass chef and his food game. It sounds boring AF, but I swear it keeps you hooked.

You don't gotta be some fancy-pants film critic to dig this one; just grab a beer and enjoy the ride. That said, this shit's got layers if you wanna think about it.

Fucking 6/5, no bullshit.