How to pin a batch file to the Windows taskbar when "Pin to taskbar" is missing
How to pin a batch file to the Windows taskbar when "Pin…
Posts
In the Airs Tonight #OneSongOnePlaylist
Another entry in the sporadic and unnecessary #OneSongOnePlaylist series. One song, as…
A source of healthful recreation*, maybe too much healthful recreation.
It’s been a week. Bearded Theory was just ten days ago. By…
Nightswimming (This Is Why I'm Playing It)
My copy of Automatic for the People came in a wooden box.
Parish Newsletter - theaardvark live tonight! 9pm, 17th May 2026
Parish Notices — theaardvark live, 18th May 2026 The May 2026 edition…
In Defence of the Neurodivergent Mask
Last week I saw an Instagram past about masking and Autism/ADHD/AuDHD. The…
When is theaardvark's radio show next on Lichfield Radio?
By now, you should be aware that I do a weekly radio…
The Frankie Powers of Love - #OneSongOnePlaylist
Here’s another entry in the sporadic, slightly unhinged #OneSongOnePlaylist series. This time, I’ve…
Frank-En-Furter - My Vocal Stims/Tics - The Soundtrack of My Life
For a short while now, I've found myself saying "Frank-En-Furter" out loud.
I have a new radio show on Lichfield Radio
This coming Tuesday I start a new, weekly, hour-long music show on…
The Irregular — an occasional email thing
I've set up an email list. It's called The Irregular—which, frankly, is…
I Own My Stuff Now. Sort Of. (POSSE and theaardvark.co.uk)
This all started because I wanted to make a button. Not an…
How I Accidentally Ended Up With My Own CSS Framework - aardCSS
I want to be clear from the outset that this was not…
On AuDHD, Panic Attacks and Paradoxes
A few weeks ago, I stood up at a Lichfield District Council…
I Built a Website for My Wife's Spoonie Community. Here's How That Went.
Sha needed a website. Not because Facebook wasn't working — the two…
Dust Bunny (2025) Film Review - A Shallow AF Takedown
Is Bryan Fuller's Dust Bunny just a rip-off of Léon? Our brutal hones, Shallow AF film review of the Mads Mikkelsen horror movie. No chin-stroking just answers.
Why 'theaardvark'? An Origin Story
People sometimes ask why I go by 'theaardvark'. It’s a fair question,…
Flow State meets DnB - Teaser
Last month, I “dropped” a track called 'Flow State'. It's a ten-minute…
New logo and a lick of paint - over at Wheely Happy Days
This is a copy of a post over on Wheely Happy Days.
AarDHD - Flow State: Now Available
A week ago, I posted a short teaser about a new piece…
Flow State: Something New Coming Monday
I've been working on something different for the past few months. It's…
Unjaring Fart Starters, Ring Stingers and Ass Blasters pickled onions
¡Ahoy hoy, Pickle Fam! And a hearty welcome to any passing chilli1…
Pickled Onion Review #15: The Funky Food Co's Honey Pickled Onions and Apple Cider Pickled Onions
It's time to get funky again. After their Guinness & Marmite onions…
The Ultimate Scottish Breakfast: Our First Attempt
Some breakfasts are simple. Others need a plan and a bit of…
Gin Advent Calendar: The Grand, Belated Finale
We actually did it. Every single one of the 25 doors on…
Gin Advent Days 22 & 23: The One We Forgot To Pack (And the Gigs We Didn't!)
Well, here we are. Days 22 and 23 of the Gin Advent…
Gin Advent Days 20 & 21: A Solo Session with Aviation Gin & a Ginger Powerhouse
Right then. It’s a two-for-one special for Days 20 and 21 of the Gin Advent Calendar, and I’m flying solo. MrsVark, after a heroic effort involving…
Gin Advent Calendar Day 19: North Uist Downpour Gin
Well, here we are again. Day 19. The end is nigh, and frankly, we're starting to wonder what we'll do with our evenings when this is all over. Probably…
Gin Advent Calendar Day 18: A Near-Perfect Gin, and a Rant About FND
It's Day 18 of the Drinks by the Dram Gin Advent Calendar, and tonight we're tasting Whitley Neill's Rhubarb & Ginger Gin. This one is a firm favourite of…
Gin Advent Calendar Days 16 & 17: In Which I Introduce My New Assistant, Glenda
MrsVark is recuperating (I think the cherry gin may have pushed her over the edge). Glenn the mannequin is apparently too busy writing Christmas cards. So…
Gin Advent Calendar Days 14 & 15: A Flavoured Gin Catch-Up
We've fallen behind again. Fatigue after a busy but enjoyable Saturday meant Sunday was a rest day. So, we had to tackle two gins in one sitting to get…
Gin Advent Calendar Day 13: The Post-Party Gin
We've been out at a party. This means we are tired, slightly dishevelled, and in no mood for any nonsense. The last thing we need is a challenging or…
Gin Advent Calendar Day 12: We're A Bit Drunk For This One
Right. Let's be honest. We've been out. We went to some local musical theatre, we had a few drinks, and now we're home and, frankly, several sheets to the…
Pickled Onion Review #14: Dr Burnorium's Ghost Pepper Psycho Onions
A month ago, my good friends Jay and Claire, who are either very generous or have a sadistic streak, gave me a jar of Dr Burnorium's Ghost Pepper Psycho…
Gin Advent Calendar Day 11: A Genuine Contender
After a run of gins that have been divisive, questionable, or simply required fortification to get through, Day 11 brought something unexpected: universal…
Gin Advent Calendar: Day 10 – My Mannequin Gives Me Sales Advice
MrsVark is back on deck, but my new work colleague, Glenn the mannequin, is still hanging around. He's now offering unsolicited sales advice, I assume…
Gin Advent Calendar: A Three-Day Catch-Up (Days 7, 8 & 9)
After a brief, illness-induced hiatus, we're back. And we're behind. To get back on track with the Gin Advent Calendar, we tackled two days in one go…
Gin Advent Calendar 2025: Day 6 – Edinburgh Gin Raspberry
Day 6, and thanks to the wonders of caffeinated beverages, MrsVark and I are both upright and ready to go. Morale is surprisingly high, and today we're…
Gin Advent Calendar 2025: Day 5 – Moonshot Gin (Or: A Low-Energy Whinge Day)
Date: 5th December 2025 I know I've said this for the last couple of videos, but the video and this post are going to be quick. My Long Covid fatigue has…
Gin Advent Calendar 2025: Day 4 – Darnley's Navy Strength (Or: Fortifying Myself for the Evening's Casework)
Date: 4th December 2024 MrsVark remains poorly, which means I'm conducting another solo tasting. This would be fine, except today's offering is Darnley's…
Gin Advent Calendar Day 3: A Review From Bed
3rd December 2024 Things have taken an (not so) unexpected turn. MrsVark is down with a chronic fatigue / FND flare-up, which means she's spending the day…
Gin Advent Calendar Day 2: An Unexpected Aroma
Day two of the gin advent calendar arrived, and MrsVark managed to rip the door. Not an auspicious start. Behind the mangled cardboard lurked Gordon's…
I Bought a £75 box of Christmas Spirit. Was It a Mistake?
For those who follow my usual exploits, you'll know my channel is typically reserved for the noble pursuit of pickled onions. However, with December upon…
Review: Heinz Monster Munch Pickled Onion Mayo
Whatup, pickle fam!!! Today's review is not pickled onions, but pickled onion adjacent. Mastodon is to blame for this. Someone mentioned Heinz Monster…
Pickled Onion Review #13: Bartons Pickled Onions & Bartons Silverskin Onions
It’s been almost a month now. I'd tell you I’ve been really busy, but that wouldn’t be true. I'll leave the details to your imaginations, but in summary…
It's Not Balls All the Way Down
I was thinking about how when I was very young, I learnt in science about solids, liquids and gases. Three states of matter. Sorted. Physics: completed…
Pickled Onion Review #12: Kit's Kitchen Pickled Shallots
A couple of months ago, I unjared a very promising jar of Kit's Kitchen Pickled Onions. I was so impressed that I noted they were reminiscent of the…
Pickled Onion Review #12: Garner's Original Pickled Onions & Pickled Shallots
Alright, you magnificent pickled-fam! After the wild, funky ride with The Funky Food Co.'s flavoured offerings, it's time to return to something a bit…
Pickled Onion Review #11: The Funky Food Co's Guinness Pickled Onions & Marmite Pickled Onions
Alright, you magnificent connoisseurs of all things pickled, let's get funky. After setting the benchmark with their "Dogs Bollocks" onions, it's time to…
Unjaring Garner's Pickled Onions and Pickled Shallots
Unjaring the Legend: Garner's gets theaardvark Treatment ¡Ahoy hoy, Pickle Fam! In the relentless, ADHD-fuelled quest for the perfect pickled onion, some…
Pickled Onion Review #10: Waitrose Malt Vinegar and Balsamic Vinegar Pickled Onions
A Tale of Two Vinegars & Middle-Class Disappointment Alright, you magnificent connoisseurs of all things pickled, let's talk about Waitrose. The shop that…
Unjaring The Funky Food Co: Guinness & Marmite Pickled Onions
Ahoy, ahoy, pickle fam! theaardvark is back with another pickled onion unjarring video. This week's video begins with some light, pickled-onion-fueled…
#OneSongOnePlaylist: The Beat Goes On... And On... And On...
Here we are again, gathered for another entry in the sporadic series I like to call #OneSongOnePlaylist. For those who've somehow managed to avoid my…
Pickled Onions Review #9: The Dogs Bollocks pickled onions from The Funky Foody Co
The Dogs Bollocks - The Ronseal of Onions Alright, you magnificent connoisseurs of all things pickled onions; let's talk about a benchmark. A…
Unjaring Waitrose Pickled Onions
The Existential Certainty of the Pickled Onion Influencer Another week, another video. This one kicks off with some light, 3am, pickled-onion-fuelled…
Death of a Unicorn: A Shallow AF Review
Do film reviews seem too intellectual and "deep" for you? Do you not understand a review that bangs on about the "lack of character development and poor…
Embracing the Chaos: My ADHD AF T-Shirt
If you live with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, you know that subtlety isn't always part of the package. Some days are a whirlwind of brilliant…
Pickled Onion Review #8: M&S Balsamic Onions & A Slice of Humble Pie
In the grand, and occasionally sticky, pursuit of knowledge, one must adhere to the scientific method. A hypothesis is formulated, subjected to rigorous…
Unjaring The Dogs Bollocks pickled onions from The Funky Food Co
Alright, you audacious rubberneckers, gather 'round. The jury-rigged camera mount, a technological marvel that probably voids my mobile phone insurance…
Pickled Onion Review #7: Baxters - A Tale of Two Silverskins
Even if you’re not a die-hard pickled onion fan, there are times when you just want a dependable, everyday pickled onion that you can snag from your local…
Unjaring M&S Balsamic Vinegar Pickled Onions
Balsamic? That's a vinegar-y good question! And so it continues. Another weekend, another jar, another moment spent in front of a camera, wondering about…
Pickled Onion Review #6: Black Country Chip Van Onion
Sometimes, the best things in life are unplanned. Escaping from the plague house, a spontaneous trip to Lichfield led me to "The Vintage Fish and Chip…
Unjaring Baxters Silverskin Onions - Double Bill
Here we go again. This shite, much like my ADHD hyperfocus, now has a life of its own. Welcome back to "Old Man Documents his Breakdown as he Opens Jars…
Pickled Onion Review #5: Aldi's "The Deli" Silverskin Pickled Onions
Several years ago, over a significant number of pints, a good friend recounted to my wife and me a bus journey he took in India. The day after a heavy…
Unjaring Aldi's the Deli Pickled Silverskin Onions
The Unjaring Episode 3: Revenge of the Silverskins Well, I'm committed to this now. Welcome to the thhird instalment of what's rapidly becoming the…
Unjaring Kit's Kitchen Pickled Onions
Right. Apparently, one video of me opening a jar of pickled onions wasn't quite enough to satisfy my ADHD hyperfocus. Who knew you could stretch such a…
Pickled Onion Review #4: Marks & Spencer Traditional Pickled Onions
What up, pickle fam! Here's the review of the M&S Traditional Pickled Onions I unjarred yesterday. The jar label describes them as "hand peeled and…
Unjaring M&S Traditional Pickled Onions
Spontaneity, Elastic Bands, and Pickled Onions You know that feeling? That undeniable urge to just do a thing that's been in your head for a while. It’s…
Unboxing the Circular Ring 2 - an experiment
Here's something a bit different. I recently got my hands on the Circular Ring 2 – a "smart" ring that's meant to monitor your health rather than just…
Pickled Onion Review #3: Sarson's Superb Silverskin Onions
theaardvark’s law on product names: If they have to put a positive adjective in the product title, you can guarantee it won’t apply. “Quality Hotels”…
F1: The Movie - I Came to Hate, I Stayed Because It Looked Fucking Awesome
Shallow AF Reviews is for anyone who's sick of pretentious film critics wanking on about "thematic depth" and "cinematic language" like they're curing…
Pickled Onion Review #2: Tesco Tangy and Crisp Pickled Onions
Lately, I've found myself developing an almost unhealthy obsession with pickled onions. Yes, pickled onions! One moment I was simply existing day to day…
Pickled Onion Review #1: Stockwell Pickled Onions from Tesco
So, I've decided to turn my 20-a-day pickled onion "habit" into something vaguely productive. Welcome to what might be the world's most niche blog series…
Expend4bles - A Shallow AF Review
Tired of pretentious film reviews banging on about "character arcs" and "thematic resonance" when all you want to know is if the explosions look cool?…
Fixing "Publii cannot find your sites folder".
I'm using Pulbii for this site and MrsVark's Wheely Happy Days site. So that I can use it on multiple devices, I have the "sites folder" saved in my…
The Game (I lost!)
The text below is copied verbatim from a blog post I made on 10th August 2002 on blogspot.com. This blogpost is recognised on Wikipedia as the first…
Plastic Jesuses: The Original #OneSongOnePlaylist Resurrected
Like the horrendous lefty wokerati social-justice-warrior that I am, I have abandoned the Trump administration supporting Spotify, the home of Joe Rogan's…
The Electric State (2025) - A Shallow AF Review
A shallow AF review of the Netflix movie "The Electric State" (2025)
How I Built purpleaardvark.uk: A Random Meme Generator Website
Ever fancied having your own website that does nothing but display photos of yourself with random meme text? No? Well, I did it anyway, and here's how I…
Fish Finger and Scampi Nik Naks Sandwich
A (the?) recipe for a Fish Finger and Scampi Nik Nak Sandwich
The gift of a drumstick and much more....
Fuzz Townshend gave me a drumstick at Bearded Theory last year. This is why that small act meant so much to me. In May of 1996 my first wife died. I'd…
GIF Test - Can Crush
GIF Test - Can Crush
Baker Streets
How about another #OneSongOnePlaylist? What's that... you're not really bothered? Tough. I very nearly had to introduce a new "rule" because of this…
Creating a links page with LinkStack
I've wanted to create a links page for a while but I've never been happy with the commercial options. I'd like to keep control of my data, I'd like to…
Oh Supermen
The latest #OneSongOnePlaylist is 26 different versions of "Oh Superman", originally by Laurie Anderson. 3¼ hours of different takes on the experimental…
PIG (2021) - A Shallow AF Review
Do film reviews seem too intellectual and "deep" for you? Do you not understand a review that criticises the "lack of character development and poor…
I've not been OK
Content Warning - Discussion of suicidal thoughts, depression, suicide methods, general whinging and belly aching.
Current Colour Palette
The initial inspiration for the colour palette (as of 20th Dec 2024) is from a Mastodon bot account called random color contrasts. (This will likely have…
Editing the Theme Template in Publii
I've been tinkering with the template(s) for this website. It's slow work because I'm not a webdev expert and what little knowledge I do/did have hasn't…
Whamacea
This is the biggest #OneSongOnePlaylist so far and the anti-#Whamaggedon. 235 versions of Last Christmas, not including Wham's original. 13 hours and 39…
Ana’s Ng
Here’s another in the sporadic (and only recently named) series #OneSongOnePlaylist. This song’s a little niche and, therefore, the playlist is quite a…
Road House (2024) - a shallow as fuck film review
A Shallow AF Film Review of Road House (2024)
Using Publii to Blog Pt. 1
I've been looking for a blogging platform for a loooooonnnngg time. I was looking for something that met a number of requirements. The end result website…
Purple Beard Test
Obligatory first post test, etc.