The Existential Certainty of the Pickled Onion Influencer

Another week, another video. This one kicks off with some light, 3am, pickled-onion-fuelled pondering on the illusion of free will. As you do.

Was I always destined to eat those onions? Was the subsequent insomnia inevitable? And more importantly, were these two jars from Waitrose always fated to be unjarred on camera?

You can witness the full descent into preserve-based madness below, where I thankfully move on from existential dread to the far more pressing matter at hand.

For those of you who have followed this increasingly questionable journey, you’ll be thrilled to know there has been a significant technological upgrade. The elastic band, a marvel of improvised engineering, has been retired. I’ve invested in a proper phone holder, so the production values have now skyrocketed from ‘shambles’ to ‘slightly less of a shambles’. Progress.