theaardvark.co.uk

Boring shite from theaardvark

12 September 2025 Food

Two glass jars of pickled silverskin onions from Aldi's Deli range sit on a dark wooden surface against a shimmering silver disco ball backdrop. The left jar contains "Sweet Silverskin Onions" with tiny onions in a dirty brown liquid, whilst the right jar holds plain "Silverskin Onions" with pale white onions. Both have black lids and white labels featuring illustrated onions.

12 September 2025 Food

Bald man with glasses and a purple beard wearing a grey t-shirt with "ACTUALLY AUTISTIC" in yellow and orange text, holding up two jars of pickled silverskin onions - one labelled "Pickled Silverskin Onions" and the other "Pickled Sweet Silverskin Onions". Behind him is a cluttered home office with shelves of collectibles, a bright blue door, and computer monitors displaying a purple cartoon aardvark. The expression suggests he's about to deliver a verdict that could make or break someone's onion-pickling career.

10 September 2025 Food

7 September 2025 Food

A glass jar of M&S pickled traditional onions sits on a wooden surface against a backdrop of vibrant knitted fabric in stripes of red, orange, yellow, navy, and mint green. The jar contains golden-brown vinegar with pale pickled onions visible through the glass, while the white and cream label prominently displays the M&S Food branding and promises these are "hand peeled and classically pickled in rich malt vinegar for a tangy, distinctive flavour and crunchy bite.

7 September 2025 Food

A bald, bespectacled chap with an impressively purple-tinted beard holds up a jar of M&S pickled traditional onions to the camera. Behind him sits the controlled chaos of a home office-cum-recording studio, complete with a "theaardvark's Radio Show" poster, a rubber duck (because of course there is), and a bright blue door that's probably seen more drama than EastEnders. The expression suggests this pickle jar might contain either culinary gold or his greatest mistake - the sort of face one pulls when about to find out if yesterday's leftover curry was a brilliant idea or a terrible miscalculation.

5 September 2025 Tech Reviews

A sleek smart ring in rose gold with a black interior sits on a wooden desk next to its square charging case, alongside a white "CIRCULAR" branded box promising to "#ElevateYourLife" - which is quite optimistic. A cartoon aardvark peeks cheekily from sign in the background, presumably judging my latest gadget purchase.

5 September 2025 Food

A jar of Sarson's Superb Silverskin onions sits on a wooden surface against a colourful fabric backdrop featuring bold red, orange, yellow, and turquoise stripes. The orange and burgundy label promises "bring crunch with a distinctive tang" - ambitious claims for what is a merely acceptable addition to a pickled onion enthusiast's pantry.

31 August 2025 Shallow AF Reviews

Brad Pitt stands heroically beside a Formula 1 car, wearing pristine racing overalls and sporting the kind of ruggedly handsome stubble that suggests he's never actually changed a tyre. The cinematic lighting and dramatic pose scream "I'm definitely the coolest 60-year-old on the grid" whilst the movie poster promises yet another Hollywood take on motorsport that'll probably make actual F1 fans wince.