Food ⁽⁴⁷⁾

Blog posts by theaardvark about food

10 September 2025

7 September 2025

A glass jar of M&S pickled traditional onions sits on a wooden surface against a backdrop of vibrant knitted fabric in stripes of red, orange, yellow, navy, and mint green. The jar contains golden-brown vinegar with pale pickled onions visible through the glass, while the white and cream label prominently displays the M&S Food branding and promises these are "hand peeled and classically pickled in rich malt vinegar for a tangy, distinctive flavour and crunchy bite.

7 September 2025

A bald, bespectacled chap with an impressively purple-tinted beard holds up a jar of M&S pickled traditional onions to the camera. Behind him sits the controlled chaos of a home office-cum-recording studio, complete with a "theaardvark's Radio Show" poster, a rubber duck (because of course there is), and a bright blue door that's probably seen more drama than EastEnders. The expression suggests this pickle jar might contain either culinary gold or his greatest mistake - the sort of face one pulls when about to find out if yesterday's leftover curry was a brilliant idea or a terrible miscalculation.

5 September 2025

A jar of Sarson's Superb Silverskin onions sits on a wooden surface against a colourful fabric backdrop featuring bold red, orange, yellow, and turquoise stripes. The orange and burgundy label promises "bring crunch with a distinctive tang" - ambitious claims for what is a merely acceptable addition to a pickled onion enthusiast's pantry.

31 August 2025

A jar of Tesco pickled onions sits on a wooden surface against the ornate backdrop of a Klimt painting, with its characteristic swirling patterns and geometric designs in blues, golds, and earth tones. The jar contains plump white onions floating in amber-coloured vinegar, looking considerably more promising than their Stockwell & Co rivals. The label boldly claims they're "tangy & crisp" - words that fill one with cautious optimism after recent pickled onion disappointments. Rather fitting that they're posed against such artistic splendour, really.

30 August 2025

A glass jar of Stockwell & Co pickled onions sits on a wooden worktop, looking about as enthusiastic as the onions inside - which appear rather anaemic and floating listlessly in their "vinegar and acetic acid" like they've given up on life. The blue label promises quality since 1924, though the pale, unappetising contents suggest standards may have slipped a touch.

14 March 2025

A Fish Finger and Scampi Nik Naks Sandwich cut in half and photographed after one bite, revealing its architectural cross-section of pure culinary chaos. White bread bookends a garish orange filling where processed cheese attempts to contain an escaping avalanche of neon Nik Naks and beige fish fingers. The sandwich sits on a plain white plate atop what appears to be a desk with a gaming keyboard visible in the background - evidence that someone willingly transported this creation to a workplace, likely in violation of several unwritten laws of lunch etiquette and possibly the Geneva Convention.