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31 August 2025 Shallow AF Reviews

Brad Pitt stands heroically beside a Formula 1 car, wearing pristine racing overalls and sporting the kind of ruggedly handsome stubble that suggests he's never actually changed a tyre. The cinematic lighting and dramatic pose scream "I'm definitely the coolest 60-year-old on the grid" whilst the movie poster promises yet another Hollywood take on motorsport that'll probably make actual F1 fans wince.

F1: The Movie - I Came to Hate, I Stayed Because It Looked Fucking Awesome

Shallow AF Reviews is for anyone who's sick of pretentious film critics…

theaardvark

31 August 2025 Food

A jar of Tesco pickled onions sits on a wooden surface against the ornate backdrop of a Klimt painting, with its characteristic swirling patterns and geometric designs in blues, golds, and earth tones. The jar contains plump white onions floating in amber-coloured vinegar, looking considerably more promising than their Stockwell & Co rivals. The label boldly claims they're "tangy & crisp" - words that fill one with cautious optimism after recent pickled onion disappointments. Rather fitting that they're posed against such artistic splendour, really.

theaardvark

30 August 2025 Food

A glass jar of Stockwell & Co pickled onions sits on a wooden worktop, looking about as enthusiastic as the onions inside - which appear rather anaemic and floating listlessly in their "vinegar and acetic acid" like they've given up on life. The blue label promises quality since 1924, though the pale, unappetising contents suggest standards may have slipped a touch.

theaardvark

5 May 2025 Shallow AF Reviews

Movie poster for "The Expendables 4" showing a line of aging action stars including Statham, Stallone, 50 Cent, Fox, Lundgren, and others against a red and green explosion background. The tagline reads "OLD BLOOD MEETS NEW BLOOD" above the title "EXPEND4BLES" with a September 22 release date. Just another desperate attempt to squeeze money from a franchise that should've been put in a retirement home three films ago, featuring the usual suspects of actors who apparently can't say no to a paycheck.

theaardvark

5 May 2025 WebDev

$Windows error message with a red circular icon showing an X. The message reads: 'Publi cannot find your sites folder. Please check if the directory C:\Users\peeps\OneDrive\Documents\Public\sites exists or create it manually, then reopen the application.'$

Food Reviews
Shallow AF Reviews
Pickled Onions
Music
Bits & Pieces

31 March 2025 TheGame

30 March 2025 OneSongOnePlaylist

A glowing plastic Jesus figurine on a car dashboard, complete with heavenly halo, while an army of multi-coloured Jesuses float outside the windscreen. The rear-view mirror reads 'Jesuit Jesuit' – apparently even divine navigation needs a backup. Your dashboard saviour and his technicolour dream choir, ready to protect you."

16 March 2025 Shallow AF Reviews

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