theaardvark

Autistic. ADHD. Easily distracted, deeply interested.
This is where I put things when my brain won't shut up about them.

7 September 2025 Food

A glass jar of M&S pickled traditional onions sits on a wooden surface against a backdrop of vibrant knitted fabric in stripes of red, orange, yellow, navy, and mint green. The jar contains golden-brown vinegar with pale pickled onions visible through the glass, while the white and cream label prominently displays the M&S Food branding and promises these are "hand peeled and classically pickled in rich malt vinegar for a tangy, distinctive flavour and crunchy bite.

7 September 2025 Food

A bald, bespectacled chap with an impressively purple-tinted beard holds up a jar of M&S pickled traditional onions to the camera. Behind him sits the controlled chaos of a home office-cum-recording studio, complete with a "theaardvark's Radio Show" poster, a rubber duck (because of course there is), and a bright blue door that's probably seen more drama than EastEnders. The expression suggests this pickle jar might contain either culinary gold or his greatest mistake - the sort of face one pulls when about to find out if yesterday's leftover curry was a brilliant idea or a terrible miscalculation.

5 September 2025 Tech Reviews

A sleek smart ring in rose gold with a black interior sits on a wooden desk next to its square charging case, alongside a white "CIRCULAR" branded box promising to "#ElevateYourLife" - which is quite optimistic. A cartoon aardvark peeks cheekily from sign in the background, presumably judging my latest gadget purchase.

5 September 2025 Food

A jar of Sarson's Superb Silverskin onions sits on a wooden surface against a colourful fabric backdrop featuring bold red, orange, yellow, and turquoise stripes. The orange and burgundy label promises "bring crunch with a distinctive tang" - ambitious claims for what is a merely acceptable addition to a pickled onion enthusiast's pantry.

31 August 2025 Shallow AF Reviews

Brad Pitt stands heroically beside a Formula 1 car, wearing pristine racing overalls and sporting the kind of ruggedly handsome stubble that suggests he's never actually changed a tyre. The cinematic lighting and dramatic pose scream "I'm definitely the coolest 60-year-old on the grid" whilst the movie poster promises yet another Hollywood take on motorsport that'll probably make actual F1 fans wince.

31 August 2025 Food

A jar of Tesco pickled onions sits on a wooden surface against the ornate backdrop of a Klimt painting, with its characteristic swirling patterns and geometric designs in blues, golds, and earth tones. The jar contains plump white onions floating in amber-coloured vinegar, looking considerably more promising than their Stockwell & Co rivals. The label boldly claims they're "tangy & crisp" - words that fill one with cautious optimism after recent pickled onion disappointments. Rather fitting that they're posed against such artistic splendour, really.

30 August 2025 Food

A glass jar of Stockwell & Co pickled onions sits on a wooden worktop, looking about as enthusiastic as the onions inside - which appear rather anaemic and floating listlessly in their "vinegar and acetic acid" like they've given up on life. The blue label promises quality since 1924, though the pale, unappetising contents suggest standards may have slipped a touch.

5 May 2025 Shallow AF Reviews

Movie poster for "The Expendables 4" showing a line of aging action stars including Statham, Stallone, 50 Cent, Fox, Lundgren, and others against a red and green explosion background. The tagline reads "OLD BLOOD MEETS NEW BLOOD" above the title "EXPEND4BLES" with a September 22 release date. Just another desperate attempt to squeeze money from a franchise that should've been put in a retirement home three films ago, featuring the usual suspects of actors who apparently can't say no to a paycheck.